Home again
by AllieKat21
Summary: Sequal to 'A new year' Emma is finally back home again. But her past comes back into her life, and her secrets are reviled. How will she deal with it all? How will Jay deal with it? come and find out, please review.
1. Default Chapter

**This is the first chapter of my sequal to 'A new year'. This story takes place when Emma is 18 and going back home to start university. So let me know what you think of this, and thank you to everyone who reviewd 'A new year' please review this one I know you guys have been waiting for this. Oh and I own no one in this story excpet Skylar paige.**

**CHAPTER 1/ Time to go home.**

Emma Nelson was in her room in her aunt Jen's house in Long Beach California looking over her acceptence letter she got in the mail a week ago. It was for the university of Toronto and she had replied accepting their offer to attend on a full scholorship. She had finished high school and was top of her class, and that wasn't easy for her considering when she was 16-years-old she had a daughter. Skylar Paige, she was almost 2 -years-old. Emma hadn't been home in a long time and it would be the first time that her friends had seen Skylar in person Emma sent them pictures and they talked to her on the phone but that's not why she was so nervouse. She was nervouse because her ex-boyfriend Jay Hogart was probably still in Toronto. He had some trouble in school, but worked his ass off to get into university, he was Sky's father but never knew, and she wasn't sure it was a good idea to let him know this way. But her friend and Sky's God father Sean told her that she has to tell him some time he had been telling her that since she found out she was pregnant but it was just so hard for her to do. Too much time had passed. Emma laied back on her bed and sighed looking at the letter again. She wanted to go home so bad she missed it, it had been a long time since she had been there. 'This is crazy I'm going and I'm taking my baby with me.' she thought getting up and started to take boxes out to pack.

It was August and Emma was finished packing up her things and Sky's things, she had found an apartment near campus and near a day care center for Skylar. Classes didn't start for another week and Skylar's birthday was in that same week. She wanted to move as soon as possible so she could get her and her daughter settled in their new home and that day was coming up it was actually the next day. Emma sealed the last box of Skylar's things and went into the den where her daughter was sitting playing with some toys. Emma looked at her baby and saw that she looked just like Jay, she had ever since she was born but you could tell more so now that she has gotten older. She had borwn hair like him and his eyes. Her fearutes were like his too she really was a daddies girl.

Emma walked over to her daughter and picked her up, "Hey baby." Sky just grabbed her mothers cheek and gave her a sloppy kiss. That was one thing Sky loved to do was give you kisses on the cheek it was just her thing. Emma laughed and carried her into the kitchen and sat her in her high chair, and walked over to the counter to get her a sippy cup( A/N those cups with a lid and a spout on them so toddlers can drink form it with oust spilling just for those who don't know.) and filled it with apple juice. "Hey Em." her aunt said coming in behind her and kissing her head "Hey aunt Jen." "so have you decided on wht your going to do about university?" her aunt said hopping on the counter and looking at her niece, Emma walked over to Skylar and gave her the cup.

"Um yea I'm going home." she said turning to her aunt, "what about Skylar?" "well she is my daughter so she'll come with me." "I know that what I ment was about about Jay do you think he's still around there Sean did tell you he did get into a university." "Yea I know but he probalby went to a different school some where." "how do you know Sean never said what school he was going to." Emma sighed and looked at her aunt then her daughter "I know that but I can hope he went to another school." "Em you have to tell him some day, he's her father and would want in her life." "Well how do you know I want him in her life?" Her aunt walked over to her and looked her in the eye "Because you grew up with out a father, you didn't have a father figure in your life till Snake and you didn't know your real father till you were 14- years old." "but that doesn't really answer my question. How do you know I want him in her life?" "because you don't want your baby to go through what you did." and with that her aunt walked out of the room leaving Emma thinking about what she had said.

Jay Hogart walked into his apartment after his last class at the University of Toronto. He walked into the den and laid out on the coach and looked around, he had done well for himself, he worked his ass off and was able to attend the university. But it wasn't as happy as he should be, it had been a couple of years but he still missed the love of his life, Emma Nelson. Looking around his place he saw a picture of them sitting on the table he had by the couch, Jay got up when he heard a noise coming form one of the rooms in the apartment. Walking into the back he noticed one of the doors open half way and some one was movign in there. Pushing into the room and crashing into the person he took them both to the floor, he was ready to hit who ever it was when he noticed it was his best friend and roommate Sean Camren. "Man what the hell, I thought you were working?" Jay said gettign up. "I was but I left my cell phone here and I'm waiting for a call." Sean said getting up and grabbing the phone off the night table. "Oh yea fromm who?" Sean was waiting for a call from Emma about coming home but he couldn't tell Jay that. "No one just a friend." he said leaving the room. "okay well I'll see you later I'm working later tonight." Jay said walking back to his room and Sean left the apartment.

Sean was driving to work when his cell phone went off, looking at the screen he saw Emma's name flash. He picked it up his eyes still on the road. "Hey Emma." "Hey, I made a choice." she said with a pause and then continued "I'm coming home Sean me and Skylar are coming home." she was so happy to tell him this news her friends had tried to get her to come home since she left. Sean had the biggest smile on his face when he heard that, he missed his friend and his Goddaughter, he had picuters of them both but he couldn't put them out because of Jay. Ever since she had left and he saw what it did to Jay he wanted to tell him where she was and that he had a baby girl but he promised Emma not to tell so picuters and things with traces of them had to be hidden away. "Emma this is so great when are you coming home?" "tomorrow night but it'll be late so I'll have to see you guys the next day." "that's okay, we'll get the others togeather to meet you guys. I can't wait to see my little neice."

Skylar wasn't his neice but Jay was his best friend and they were close like brothers so any child of Jay's was a neice or nephwe to him. "well I'd let you talk to her but she is napping right now so I better go and get things setteled before she wakes up." Emma said to him, "yea your right, bye Em see you soon." "bye Sean we'll see you really soon." and with that she hung up. Sean wanted to kick himself, he was happy that Emma and Skylar were coming home because this _was _there home, but he never told her that the school she was going to be attending was the one Jay went to. 'She's going to be really mad.' he thought to himself. He never told JAy about Skylar either so when he found Emma chances were he was going to find his daughter too and he would _not _be happy. 'Great another person that'll be mad, oh well they need to talk.' he thought

The next day Emma was on the plan going home with Skylar in her lap fussing. "I know how you feel kid." she said trying to calm down her child and after a few minutes she did. she turned Skylar in her lap and pulled out a book, it was a photo album that had pictures of Emma friends and family and even one of Jay. After Skylar was born she had pulled the pictures out and put them in. If he never met her or didn't get a chance too till she was older she want her to know who her father was, and she did. Skylar was a smart little girl and picked up on what you told her and held on to it. Emma started to flip through the book and smiled at the pictures and when Skylar tried to pull them up. Skylar's little face light up when a picture of Jay came up, "Dada, ma dada." she said looking at Emma and then touching the picture of her father. Emma did tell her daughter about her father and showed her pictures of him, in her room at home near Skylar's crib was a picture of Jay and Emma. 'Maybe I did make a mistake.' she thought about what all her friends and family had told her over the years, she should have told Jay about his daughter. But it was too late now she didn't even know where Jay was.

Later that night Emma and Skylar got off the plan and looked around for her mother, Skylar had fallen asleep with her head on her mother's shoulder and her purple monkey clutched tightly in her arm and a pacifier in her mouth. 'I really need to get her off that thing.' she thought shifting her on her hip and still looking for Spike. "oh man mom come on I'm tired." she said to her self, she really was and Skylar was gettign heavy but she couldn't put her down yet or she would wake up screaming. Suddenly some one tapped her on her shoulder. Turning around she smiled when she saw Paige, Spinner, and Sean. "what are you guys doing here?" she asked giving them hugs as best she could. "Well your mom told us what time you got in and we couldn't wait to see you guys till tomororw so yea here we are." he said giving her another hug "Em here let me take her" he said taking Skylar gently form her arms not waking the baby. "Thanks she was gettign kind of heavy, so lets get the bags and we can leave." "God Emma we missed you so much." Paige said pulling her into another hug. "Yea it's good to be home, I missed this place." she said as they walked to get the bags, Paige's arm linked through hers and Spinner's arm around her shoulder, and Sean walking with them Skylar sleeping peacfuly in his arms. She missed them so much.

Sean had driven them so he droped Spinner and Paige off at their dorms and was driving Emma and Skylar to her parents house she was going to stay there till tomorrw when they moved in. "It's really good to have you home Emma." he said taking his eyes off the road for a second then turning back. "Yea you guys seemed to miss us." she said and smiled at her daughter still asleep in the back, she was a little worried becuse Sean didn't have a car seat in his car, but she was still strapped in safely. "Yea we did things just weren't the same with you gone." he hesitated for a minute before saying more" People weren't the same after you left either." Emma sighed and looked out the window she knew he was talking about Jay. "I know Sean but you know whay I left with out telling him.""I know Em but maybe you should tell him now before even more time passes." he was trying to keep his voice low but he was frustraited with her it was always the same fight about her telling Jay.

"I can't do that Sean he missed alot already besides I don't even know where he is." the car got very quiet all of a sudden and Sean tried to avoide looking her in the eye. "Sean what is it why are you not looking at me?" He sighed and turned to look at her as they pulled up to her parents house. "Em he never left he gos to school at the University of Toronto with us and he's my roommate." he said very calmly, Emma sat there in shock "No Sean please tell me your kidding." he shook his head "Why didn't you say anything to me about this before?" "because you need to be here this is your home Em you and Skylar belong here and you never would have come home if we told you he was here." "I'm to tired for this can we please just go in?" she asked while getting out of the car and pushing the seat forward to get her baby out. "we'll talk about this later Emma." he said gettign her things out she took a couple bags form him and nodded before openign the door to her home. 'It's good to be home...in most ways that is.' she thought. That night after Skylar was in bed and her parents had let her go, she tried to sleep but couldn't thoughts of Jay were going through her head. 'I need to stop thinking about it, to much time has passed.' she though rolling over and falling into a sleep filled with dreams of her past with Jay.

**Okay this is the first chapter of my sequal to 'A new year' so please review I like hearing what you guys think. And sorry it's so short but I'll write more later.**

**Allie**


	2. Behind these hazel eyes

**Hey guys here is the second chapter of Home again. Thank you to every one that has reviewed the first chapter, hope you guys like this and please review it. Happy Holidays guys. I own not one in this story, but hey maybe santa will bring me them for Christmas lol and the song "Behind these hazel eyes" belongs to Kelly Clarkson. And I think I'll be using songs that kinda go along with the story, so sorry if it bugs you.**

**CHAPTER 2/BEHIND THESE HAZEL EYES.**

_Seems like yesterday_

_you were a part of me_

_I used to stand so tall_

_I used to be so strong_

_your arms around me so tight_

_Everytime, it felt so right_

_Unbreakable,like nothin'could go wrong_

_Now I can't breath_

_No, I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on._

_Behind these Hazel eyes, by Kelly Clarckson_

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After a few days Emma and Skylar's apratment was done and they were moved in, well not fully there was still some stuff that had to be unpacked. She planed on doing that over the next few days. For now she had to get ready for the first day of her classes, (A./N I screwed up in the first chapter I said Jay came home form his class, it was supposed to be a summer course that he was taking for extra credits, the university hasn't started till now.) Skylar was going to be in daycare till five that night because Emma had to work in the afternoon and her parents could't watch her till later, and her friends had plans so Sky had to stay late. Emma quicly got dressed in a pair of tight low rise jeans and a red tank top with a light weight short sleeve white pull over, over her tank top. She threw her long blonde hair up and rushed to Skylar's room to see her daughter sitting in her crib playing with her monkey. "Good morning my beautiful baby." she said picking her up and carrying her over to change her diaper. Emma quicly changed her daughter into a pair of jeans and a little white tee-shirt that said "Princess." in hot pink, with a heart on either side of the word, Paige had given that to her saying that Sky was their princess. Emma struggled to pull her soft brow hair into two pigtails and put on a pair of gray and pink converse sneakers.

After breakfeast Emma and Skylar left the apartment and headed to daycare and the school. When she arrived at the university, Emma stood looking up at the building. She had finally made it here, she promised herself when she got pregnant that no matter what nothing was going to stop her from gettign here and it didn't she was here and she was a great mom. She took a deep breath and began to walk to her first class, journalism.

Jay had just pulled up to the university and was ready to start another year here, he was doing good and loved his classes, that was the best thing about being here, he got to pick the things he was interested in. With a smile on his face he walked towards his class ready for anything that this year was going to throw at him. He had no idea that this year was going to throw alot at him, probably more than he can handel. But still with a smile on his face he walked towards his first class: Journalsim. As he walked into class he looked around him and noticed some people that he had met the year before and some new people, he sat down and talked with his friend Tommy. He looked away for a second but looked back over when he heard Tommy let out a low whistle, "What man? What are whistling at?" Tommy smirked and pointed to a girl that was sitting just two rows infront of them, "Her man, the blonde." Jay looked at her, she looked really familer to him. "Man she is hot and she's a freshman too that means she's up for grabs." Tommy was still smirking looking between the girl and Jay. "Man you think every girl is up for grabs." Jay wasn't listening to his friend anymore he was staring at the girl but he couldn't really place her. Till she turned and he saw her face: it was Emma Nelson.

Jat was shock to say the least, it had been more than two years and here she was only a few feet away form him. She was still beautiful to him her still long blonde hair had more highlights in it making it a bit of a deeper blonde and it was pulled back and he noticed that on the small of her back she had another tattoo. It was a fairy sitting on a blue crestent moon, she had white silver hair and was naked except for a few strands of blue fabric covering her. Jay came out of his shcok a little and was about to get to see her but the door slamed and class started, normaly he wouldn't care but Emma peobably would. 'After class I'm going to talk to her.' he thought while sitting back in his chair and ignoring the looks his friend was giving him.

When the class let out Jay grabbed his stuff and chased after Emma, she had already left the class. But when he got into the hall he lost her in the sea of people. "Damnit!" he said hitting his fist into the wall. Tommy came up to him and looked at him funny, "Man I've never seen you this weirded out over a girl what's so special about her?" Jay looked at his friend "That was Emma Nelson." Tommy was a litltle shocked JAy had told him a little bit about her. How they had been togeather and how she just left him with out so much as a good-bye. With out knowing it she had left Jay a broken man. "So what are you going to do?" Jay thought for a minute before answering "talk to her I guess I mean I want to find out why she left. Man she probably won't even talk to me." he said as the two walked to another part of campus for there next class. "Why not you said that you guys were head over heals in love with each other in high school?" Jay looked down as the memories from that time came back. How much he hurt her and the look on her face that day and the night she told him that it was over. "We were or I'm still in love with her but I really messed up and we had a bad break up, and she left town. This is the first time I've seen her in years." "What did you do that was so bad?" Tommy asked when they go to class. "Broke her heart." was all Jay said as class started.

Emma was finished with her classes for the day and was walking to her car so she could go to work. She was about to get in the car when some one grabbed her arm and spun her around to face them. Her eyes went wide when she saw who was infront of her, it was none other than Jay Hogart himself. "Hey Emma." he said it like he had just seen he yesterday instead of years ago. Emma was at a lost for words she couldn't get words to come out of her mouth and she was pretty sure she looked like a morron just standiong there her arm in his grasp and staring at him. "He...Hey Jay." Jay just got right to the point once she had spoken. "We need to talk Em." Emmastarted to painc if they talked then she would have to tell him about Skylar and she wanted to avoid that as much as she could. "No Jay no we don't." she said gettign her arm away form him and turing back to her car.

Jay wasn;'t having that he grabbed her again but not eonught to hurt her he would never hurt her again, and never physically. He pinned her against the car with his body and looke straight into her eyes. He saw the deep passion, they held. But he also saw hurt, and longing, but he alson saw regret. He wasn't sure why regret,'Maybe she regrets leaving without saying good bye." "Yes Emma we have a lot to talk about. And we will you can't run from me again." Emma looked down and then back up at him trying to hide the feelings she still had for him. "I...I have to go..to work." she gentaly pushed him away and got into her car and drove off.

Jay got back to his and Sean's apartment and called out to his best friend. "SEAN!!" Sean came out of his room "What's up why are you yelling?" "because when I was in my journalism class, some one caught the eye of my friend Tommy." Jay said sitting down on the couch, Sean went and sat across form him "Yea so some chick caught his eye every girl does." "The girl was Emma Nelson." Sean didn't look shocked like Jay thought he would instead he looked down and had a guilty look on his face. "Sean why are you looking like your mother caught you jerking off or something?" "um...I kinda knew she was back home." he said so quietly JAy wasn't sure he heard him. "you _knew _she was home, why didn't you tell me?!" Jay yelled and stodd up over his friend. "Because of this man and she didn't want me telling you, you know Em she has to do things when she wants to not when some one tells her."

"your right but come on you could of told me." Sean didn't know waht he was doing but he had to end this stupidity that Emma had delt with but he wasn't going to come right out and say 'Jay you have a daughter' "Look Jay just go and cool off for awhile and then go talk to her. Here." Sean said and turned and went into his room. When he came out he hda a slip of paprer that he handed to Jay. "Here this is her new address but do me a favor, just cool off and get your thoughts straight before you go over there an make an ass out of yourself." Jay nooded and grabbed his keys before leaving the apartment. Once he was gone Sean picked up the phone and called Emma he wa going to take Skylar for awhile, they had to talk before he found Skylar. First Emma had to tell him and then explain why she kept it form him, the he could finally meet her father. 'Please don't be mad Em, I'm doing this for you and Sky.' he thougth as he dialed

Skylar had just been picked up by Sean, he had said he was taking her because Emma needed to finishe up her unpacking but Emma knew it was something else but she wasn't going to get it out of him. So she was in her den puttign things on the shelf, she came across a pink photo album with a picture of Skylar on the cover it was from when she was first born. And her name was on the bottom. Emma sat down and started to look through it, there were so many pictures already. 'I have to stop before I run out of room.' she thought colsing the book and placing it on the table and going into her kitchen to unpack in there. She was putting glasses away in the cabinets when some one knocked on the door. She hoped off the counter and went to answer door, when she opened it she thought it would be Paige or some one, but it was JAy standing there with the same look he had this afternoon.

"What...Waht are you doing here?" she asked still shokced to see him again. "I told you we had to talk Em and we're goign to now." he said forcing his way into the apartment. "Okay well talk." she said crossing her arms over her chest and trying to look as strong as possible even though she was goign weak in the knees just like back in high school. "Okay fin I'll get right to the poin. Whyt did you leave Emma?" he said in a slightly angry tone and crossing his arms. "That is my buissness JAy not yours." "It is my buissness when the women I love leaves and then comes back after years jsut like somthing ever happened. Just tell me why." his tome had softened a tiny bit but not by much. Emma was about to say something whenthe phoen rang, it was off in her room so she looked at himand then down the hall. "Just hold on a minute okay." she said and left the room.

Jay looked around the room and walked further into the den and knew that Emma and Paige had done this place, themselves. The room was painted a warm light blue color and the sofa was a bit darker than the walls. There was a fireplace and a mantal,made of brick. He walked over and saw a few pictures of Emma and her friedns and family. He smiled at a picture of her Paige, Hazel, Ashley, and Ellie togeather. They were sittign on Emma's parents pourch on the swing smiling, he had missed her smile so much he hda just missed her period. He turned and sat down on the couch and saw a pink photo album sittign there, picking it up he looked at the cover. He had a confused look on his face as he gazed at the picture of the tiny baby on the cover. All of a sudden his eyes became wide when he noticed the writting under the picuter: **_Skylar Paige Hogart_**. 'What the fuck is this!!!!!' he thought. 'Is she mine?!. she has to be?!' he thought while flipping through the book, as the picuters of the baby getting older he saw she looked like him. Anger started to rise in hism 'How could she do this to me!!' he thought slambing the book shut and went to find Emma.

She was sittign on he bed, she had just hung up with her mom, and was trying to work up ther nerve to go talk to Jay. 'God I still love him how am I going to do this she thought gettign up, while reachign for the door it slamed open and there stood JAy with anger on hsi face and Sky's baby book in his hand. He knew know. "WHAT IS THIS EMMA!!" he yelled at her, "She's your daughter." she told him calmly, there was no point in lying now. "My daughter, yea I kinda got that when I read her name. Why the fuck didn't you tell me about her!!??" he yelled. "Jay stop yelling!!" "I'll stop yelling when you tell me the truth." "I'm trying but you won't shut up!" he was quiet after she yelled and he had to take a few breaths. "I didn't tell you because you hurt me and I wanted to hurt you back." "Thats some reason Em." he said sarcasticly. "Well at the time I thought it was fine. You hurt me so much you broke my heart so I wanted to hurt you, so I took away something away that I knew you would love more than life it's self." "Well Em you can realx now you hurt me, you took away not only my heart when you left you took away my little girl. I don't want to see you right now but damit I want to see my daughter." he was still angry as hell but he wasn't going to let his baby live with out a father. "She;s not here she's with a friend." "Fine I'll see hner this weekend." he turned to leave when he stoped and looked back at her. "I hate you so much right now." he said lookignher straight in the eye before leaving her,

Emma fell to the floor when she heard the door slam, he ahted her and she only herself to blame. 'Sean was right I made a huge mistake. Gid I still love him and now he hates me. Why did I have to do this' she thought as she cried to herself. It hurt to breath, her chest was tight and she feklt her heart break all over again and this time it was her fault.

_Here I am, once again_

_I'm torn into pieces_

_Can't deny it, can't pretend_

_Just thought you were the one_

_Broken up, deep inside_

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry_

_Behind these hazel eyes._

_Behind theses hazel eyes-Kelly Clarkson._

**Okay guys sorry its so short I wanted to get this up for you guys on Christmas as a present lol hope you likethis chapter. Please review and let me know what you think. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!!**

**Allie**


	3. Daughters

**Hey thank you to you every one who has reviewed this so far, I'm glad you like it. I have another story too, but I'm not gettign much a response to that so if you guys could read it and review it would really help me out, cause if I don't get enough reviewws on it I'm going to delete it. Anyway I don't own anyone or the song Daughters that belongs to John Mayer.**

**CHAPTER 3/DAUGHTERS.**

_I know a girl_

_She puts the color inside my world_

_But she's just like a maze _

_Where all of the walls all continually change_

_And I've done all I can_

_To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands_

_Now I'm starting to see _

_Maybe it's got nothing to do with me._

_Daughters-by John Mayer_

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After that night at Emma's apartment Jay and her had not spoken a word to each other. And it was breaking Emma's heart., but a part of her mind kept telling her that this was her punishment for not telling Jay about his daughter and for leaving, and she believed it a little. Sean had tried to get the two of them to talk but it was a lost cause. The night Jay came home form Emma's apartment he had confronted Sean about Skylar and Sean had to fess up and tell him the truth, that Sean knew the whole time about Emma's pregnancy where she was and about Skylar. Jay was angry as hell with his best friend. Sean had taken Jay to his room and showed him the pictures of Emma and Skylar that he had, they weren't even half way through them when he broke down and started to cry. It was the first time Sean had ever seen his best friend cry, so he just stayed with him the whole night and tried to tell him about his baby but he was just to hurt and confused so he didn't want to hear any of it.Jay had taken a couple of the picuters of Skylar and kept them in his room or with him, he had also take a few of Emma, but Sean hadn't seen them out any where.

That same week it was Skylar's second birthday and everyone was throwing her a party at Snake and Spikes house. Paige had come over to Emma's apartment to get both of them ready for the party that day. While Skylar was taking a morning nap Paige and Emma were in her room picking out something for her to wear. "Paige why are you doing this it's just a birthday for a toddler?" Emma asked as her friend searched through her closet. "Because Emma your still hot and have a great body that needs to be shown more." Paige said and laughed "well if you don't mind can we keep it clean since there are a bunch of little kids running around." "okay sure um how about this it's cute and it's still warm enough to wear." Paige holding up an outfit.it was a short denim skirt and a halter top. "No Paige not at my daughter's birthday party were there will be other parents." Emma said walking over to the closet and went through it till she found something comfortable to wear. It was a simple pair of stretch jeans and a simple skinny strap light pink tank top that had a few embroidered flowers on it. It was cute and simple and comfortable enough to be chasing around her toddler in, a mini skirt would not work with that. "Paige I'm going to wear something that I can chase my kid around in not something that will have me falshing some leg. "Emma said with a laugh and went to change. When she came out Skylar had woken up and they went to get her ready for the party.

They had a little trouble getting Skylar dressed she had woken up but still wasn't fully awak and cried when they tried to dress her. But when they finally did she was dressed in a pair of jeans and a pink tee shirt with a tattoo design on it of a anchor and heart on it with a banner across it that said good luck and her gray converse. Paige drove them to Emma's parents house were some party stuff was already set up. Skylar was still fussing in the back seat as they walked into the house. "Come on Sky you'll have fun today." "no want monkey." she cried as they walked into the house. "Honey is she okay?" Spike asked when she met them at the door, "yea mom she just woke up that's all she'll be fine once her friends get here to play." "okay well Sean called and said he would be here soon he had to do something, and Spinner, Jimmy and Hazel will be here in a bit." Since she had been back Emma hadn't gotten the chance to see and hang out with all her friends so she had told them to stop by the party for awhile. "Well Spinner will have fun, there are people with the same attention span running around." Marco said coming out form the kitchen, "Hey when did you get here?" Emma asked giving him a hug. "It's good to see you Em you've been hiding from us." he said pulling back.

"Hey it's hard being a singal mom and a full time student." she said setting Skylar down who clung to her mother's leg. "Well you've done a great job she has gotten so big." Marco said looking down at her. He was the only one who had seen her up close he was visiting some one in Long Beach and looked Emma up and went to see her and Skylar. "Yea I know." Emma smiled down at her daughter who had sat on the floor but still had her arm hooked over Emma's leg. "Hey beautiful remember me?" Marco said sitting in front of her. Skylar just nodded her head. Skylar got up and huged Marco around his neck. "Hey I didn't get a hug?" Spike said to her granddaughter, the baby just smiled at her and burried her head in Marco's neck. "Come on guys lets finish setting up." Snake said opening a bag of ballons.

Sean was trying to convince Jay to come out of his room and to the party. "Come on man she's your daughter." "No she's a stranger because her mother had to be selfish and keep her from me she doesn't even know me." Jay said through gritted teeth. "HEY, she was scared and confused at the time, she was hurt too.She knows she made a mistake but don't punish your daughter because you _both_ made mistakes." Jay looked up at his friend and opened his mouth to say something but closed it when he knew he had nothing to say. "I'm going to get Skylar's present from my room you get ready because we are going to that party and you are going to meet your daughter." Sean said walking into his room. Jay sat on the couch and thought about what his friend had just said and he was right. Jay was just being an ass because his pride had been hurt. When Emma left he had to own up to the fact that he fucked up and that was something he had never done before he could hurt some one and not feel a thing he would push all feelings or guilt aside. But when he hurt her he felt his heart break in his chest and the guilt from all that he had done and when she left, he knew that he could never fix things and that the broken feeling he felt inside was never goign to go away.

But now that she was back a part of him wanted to fix things and another part wanted to never lay eyes on her again, he didn't blame her for leaving but he blamed her for taking his child away with out him knowing. If he went to this birthday party for his daughter he had no idea how to act, or what to think. Would she know him would she be afraid of him. He just wanted to hold her he had missed two years of her life and he never wanted to miss another minute of her life. He just didn't know how to face her mother, he still loved Emma with all his heart even though he didn't want to and he denied it every chance he got. 'I need to stop thinking about this.' he thought and went to Seans room just as he was coming out. "Lets go see my daughter." he said with the same smirk he always had.

At the party there were kids running around every where, and Spinner chasing after most of them, Marco had been right Spin had fit in perfectly. Skylar was in the sand box playing with Jack and her friedns when she got up adn walked over to her mother. "Mama!!" she said tugging on Emma's jeans. "What hunny?" she asked looking at her, "hunggy." she said pointing to the table. Emma smiled and picked her up so she could see what was on the table. "want that." she said pointing to the cake."No baby that's for a little later." "tay, that." she pointed to a plate of cookies." okay that we can do." she handed her a cookie and held her on her hip as Skylar ate it slowly. "Em we're going to be eating in a minute." Snake said to her "I know that but it's just one little cookie it's not like I gave her the cake." Emma said as the doorbell rang inside. "I'll get it." she walked into the house Skylar still on her hip.

Jay and Sean were standing at Snake and Spikes house waiting for the door to open, Jay wouldn't admit it but he was nervouse as hell, he was fine on the way over here but the minute they stood on the pourch and Sean rang the bell he could feel a tighting in the pit of his stomach. His eyes became wide when the door opened. Emma was standing there infront of her with his daughter on her hip eating a cookie. 'She is so beautiful.' he thought looking at the baby, his baby girl. He wanted to reach out and hold her. He wasn't the only one stunned Emma was too she had no idea Sean was brining Jay she thought he woud stay away for awhile, till things calmed down. But here he was not even a foot away from her and gazing longingly (Sp?) at Skylar. "Hey guys come on it." she said opening the door. When they steped in Skylar reached for Sean, and Emma willingly handed him the little girl.

"Hey baby, do you know who this is?" Sean asked her and faced Jay. Skylar smiled at him and he noticed that she looked just like him but had her mother's smile. "yes I do." she said playing with the chain around Sean's neck. "You do, well who is it?" Sean wanted to prove to Jay that Emma hadn't kept her in the dark about who her father is. "yes it my dada." she said with a laugh and a big smile.Jay smiled at that and reached for her, Skylar held out her arms and he took her and held her close to him. "Hi Skylar." he said and kissed her head. "Why don't we leave them alone for awhile." Sean said to Emma and took her arm lightly, "yea." she started to walk away but she felt some one take her hand, turing she came face to face with Jay and she noticed he had tears in his eyes. "Thank you Emma." he said and let go of her hand. Emma didn't know what to say she just nodded and left the room with Sean and gave Jay some time with his daughter.

"Emma where's Skylar?" Jimmy asked when he saw Sean and Emma come out of the house. "She's with Jay in the living room." "Jay's here?!" Hazel asked her. "yea Sean brought him." every one turned to look at him "Hey I was tired of seeing him mope around the house so I forced him to come." he said taking a drink. "well I think he did the right thing." Paige said taking a seat with them. "yea he does need to be here with her for awhile." Spinner said "Oh my God Spinner made sense." Marco said with a look of amazment. making everyone laugh.

Jay was in the living room sitting with his daughter, she acted just like her mother she was a bubbly little girl and he had a smile on his face the entir time. "daddy I want to go outside." she said climing off his lap. "okay come on." he took her hand and lead her out side. He still couldn't believe that some one was calling him daddy, it felt a little strange to him but it sounded right at the same time. He saw Emma sittign with her friends smiling and laughing he wanted to talk to her about what he had said to her the last time he was with her, he didn't hate her. He was just upset about what he had just found out. Skylar had let go of his hand and went down the steps to play with her friends. JAy went to sit with everyone and kept his eye on Skylar as she ran around and played.

After everyone ate the kids went back to playing while Emma and Paige got the cake ready. "Can you believe how Jay is around her, we haven't seen him this at ease since high school." Paige said as the set everything up. "well Paige she is his daughter he should be comfortable around her." Emma said looking back at him. "Yea but should he be stairing at you too?" "What are you talking about?" Paige turned to her friend and looked at her like she was crazy. "Emma he is looking at you like he wants to rip your clothes off." Paige said and laughed at look on Emma's face. "Paige!!! He does not, now just help me with the cake will you." Paige laughed at her friend's blushing face, she knew Emma all to well and knew for a fact that she liked the fact that Jay was looking at her, but she kept her mouth shut and went back to helping her with the cake.

When the party was over Emma and Paige had said they would help clean up, but Skylar was tired and wanted to go home to bed. "Honey why don't you just take Skylar home we can clean up." Spike said to her daughter who was clearing up the inside of the house. "No mom I can help.". Skylar was in the living room pouting and Sean was trying to keep her calm but she was starting to cry. "Emma help please!!" he yelled for her. Emma sighed anad went to leave the kitchen to help but Jay stoped her. "I can take her home and stay with her till you get home." he said looking her in the eye, his hands still on her arms and lightly rubbing them. Emma had to pull away she like the feeling of his hands on her too much,she couldn't give into her feelings she had a baby to think about now. "um okay here's my key, do you think you could change her and get her into bed?" she asked handing him the key to her apartment. "okay um I'll see you when you get back." he said turning and heading into the living room where Sean was on the floor looking painiced because Skylar was crying hystericaly, and her little face was red.

"Oh baby come here daddy'll take you home." he said picking her up and getting her stuff and saying good-bye to everyone, they left the house. They made a stop at Sean and Jay's apartment to drop Sean off, and Jay left and headed for Emma's with Skylar in the back still crying but not as bad as before. "okay Sky here we go, come on your home now." he said taking her out of the back seat. He held her on his front with her tiny arms around his neck still crying softly. Her face was red and tear stained when they got into the apartment. It took Jay and hour to get Skylar cleaned up and ready for bed,'Okay it's harder than it looks taking care of a two year old.' he thought after he put her pajams on. He took her into the den and laid down on the couch, he had tried to put her in her crib but she started to fuss so he was just going to lay with her till she fell asleesp. Jay laid back on the couch with Skylar laying on his chest, he softly rubbed her back and sang softly to her till she fell asleep and it wasn't long before he fell asleep with her.

Emma got home a couple hours later the house had been more than a mess than she thought and then Paige couldn't find her purse. When she finally got home it was really late, she took out the key she had borrowed her mom's key to her apartment. Emma smiled soflty when she walked into the den. There on the couch was Jay sleeping soundly with his daughter sound asleep on his chest. She didn't want to waist this moment so she took her camara she had left on the end table and took a couple pictures of them. After the second one was taken Jay woke up, "hey you just get home?" he wisphered so as not to wake the baby. "yea just a few minutes ago, thank you for taking her home it took longer to clean than we thought." Jay smiled at her than the little girl sleeping on his chest. "no problem I like being a father." Emma looked down as he said that, "Jay I'm"..she started to say but he cut her off. "I understand Em, really I do. Man what time is it?" he asked rubbing his eyes. "It's late why don't you stay here Jay."

"Um I don't want to be in the way." he was still laying back he didn't want to move and wake Skylar. "Jay shut up it's no problem." he didn't want to fight with her so he just nodded and gently picked up Skylar and stood up."I can put her to bed." Emma said walking to him and reaching for her. "No I want to." he said walking back to the bedroom, Emma not far behind. She smiled and stood behind him as he kissed Skylar's head "I love you baby." he said before laying her down in the crib, and placing the blanket over her. He turned and saw Emma standing there smiling at him, he took her arm and lead her out of the baby's room. "What are you smiling at Nelson?" he asked with a smirk. "Just you being a good dad." she said looking down, she still felt really bad for what she had done. "Emma look at me." he said lifitn her chin.

"I don't hate you, I could never hate." he pushed some hair off her face and looked into her eyes before doing somethign he wanted to do since she came back, he kissed her soflt on the lips. Emma was shocked a little she was not expecting that to happen, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She wanted this to happen, she missed himand still wanted him but she couldn't let this happen again she just couldn't so she did the only thing she could. She pulled away form him. "Em I'm sorry that shouldn't have happened, it's just that I've missed you and.." she cut him off. "It's okay Jay really but um I'm tired so I'll get you a blanket and pillow and we can just go to sleep." she said walking to her room and grabbing him a blanket and pillow. He wanted that kiss he wanted so much more but knew it wasn't goign to happen, but he had to make it happen. Emma and Jay went to sleep thinking about each other and their past and the kiss they had just shared. They both barley slept that night they both wanted each other still but one thought came to bother their minds: Skylar, they had a daughter and had to think about what was right for her.

_Fathers be good to your daughters_

_Daughters will love like you do_

_Girls become loverswho turn into mothers_

_So mothers, be good to your daughters too_

_Daughters-John Mayer_

**Okay guys here is the next chapter I hope you liked it Please review it. The ending I'm not so sure I like, I had another idea for it but thought it would be too much too soon, so let me know what you think of this. **

**Allie**


	4. I hate myself for losing you

**Hey guys sorry it took me so long to get this up but thanks to everyone who reviewed my story, hope you like this chapter. And I own no one never did never will, and I dont own the songs used either.**

**CHAPTER:4/ I HATE MYSELF FOR LOSING YOU.**

_I woke up today_

_Woke up wide awake_

_In an empty bed_

_Staring at an empty room_

_I have myself to blame_

_For the state I'm in_

_And now I'm dying_

_Doesn't seem so cruel_

_And oh, I don't know what to say_

_And I don't know anymore_

_Anymore_

_" I hate myself for losing you"-Kelly Clarkson._

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After the kiss the night of Skylar's birthday party, Jay and Emma tried to pretend it never happened, but JAy couldn't get it out of his mind. It took him back to times when they were togeather and happy, and it lead to thoughts of what would have happen if he had stoped Manny form telling or had told her himself. Would be still be with her and raising Skylar with her. But Emma acted like it never happend what so ever, she never brought it up but he could tell she thought about it. He had seen the way it effected her, she kissed him back like she had in school: full of love and want.

Jay walked into his journalism class, the follwoing week with the same thoughts of Emma. She was in that class so it was hard to avoide her,not that he wanted to, he wanted to be with her but she wouldn't let herself open back up tom him, not that he blamed her he messed everything up not her. As he was walkign to his seat he noitced Tommy talking to Emma, more like flirting with her. Emma was smiling and laughing at something he had said and Jay could feel something build inside of him. He was jealous that Tommy and Emma were gettign close he didn't want that to happen. She was his ex-girlfriend and the mother of his daughter not to mention the love of his life. And Tommy was his friend who went through girlfriends like they were socks he couldn't commint to one. And if he was going after Emma not only was that low but there is no way he would stick around because of Skylar and even if he did stay in it, Jay didn't want him around his daughter.

Jay calmed down before he walked over to them, and put on a fake smile. "Hey guys did I miss something?" he asked looking between the two fo them. Emma wasn't looking at him and Tommy was smiling at his friend. "Hey man no nothing I was just gettign a date with the beautiful Emma Nelson." he told Jay with a smug smile on his face before turing to look at Emma who still wasn't looking at him. "is that so?" he asked looking at Emma with an eyebrow raised. She fianlly turned to look at him, "yea it is can I talk to you for a minute?" she said getting up and making him walk out of the room.

" Tommy, Emma?" he said to her once they were out of ear shot. "yea so what?" "so what, so what? He's my friend Emma thats the so what." he didn't care about being calm or not. "Well big deal I like him and I'm going out with him this weekend." she was angry with him for making a big deal out of this they weren't togeather anymore. "well it is a big deal." "I'm not going to fight with you about this, what I do in my personal life is my buisness the only thing you have a right to know about is what goes on with your daughter. Okay?" "yea that's another thing does he know your a mom and I'm the father, did you tell him Em?" "No I didn't but I will." she placed her head in her hands and then looked up at him.

"Jay can we please just calm down. The thing is I haven't been out on a date since we broke up, okay that's a long time. I need this Jay please don't ruin it for me, Please?" she pleaded with him. Jay sighed he knew he wasn't being fair they weren't togeather anymore, he just didn't like the fact that she was dating even after she lfet he was wondering if she was dating where ever she was and he hated those thoughts. He pulle dher intoa hug and she rested her head on his chest and her arms around his waist. "Okay your right you deserve some time to go out and be a normal eight teen year old girl, it's just that I know Tommy and I don't want you to get hurt I did that and you don't deserve it. And to show you I'm okay I'll take Skylar for the day and the night so you can get ready with out worrying about her. Okay?" Emma nodded and pulled away as fast as she could, she liked being held by him and won't go back to that she couldn't.

Saturday had finally come and Emma was a nervouse wreck. She was trying to get Skylar ready for Jay to take her for the night. Skylar had never spent the night any where so she had no idea what to pack or anything that and she was nervouse about her date. Skylar was in the den playing with her Cinderella doll Paige had given her for her birthday and her purple monkey when there was a knock at the door. The toddler ran over to the door and stood on her tip toes to try to open the door. "Mama help!!" she called out. Emma came out of the kitchen and reached above her daughter to open the door.

Jay stood there as Emma opend the door and his little girl ran out to him and held on to his leg. "Daddy!!!" she yelled happily. Jay smiled and tried to walk in when Emma opened the door wider but it was a little hard with Skylar holding on with a death grip. He laughed and picked her up and lifted her over his head and back down to tickel her. Emma stood watching the pair with a sad smile on her face, she was so happy that Sky finally got to spend time with her father, and she was happy that Jay knew and loved his daughter so much. The only thing that made her sad was the fact that they weren't all togeather. A part of her wanted the three of them to be a family but that wasn't going to happen, she had to move on. "Is her stuff ready yet?" he asked putting Sky down and bringing Emma out of her thoughts. "Um no I have no idea what to pack her." she said with a small laugh. "why not?" "Well she never spent a night away from me even when she was born, I wouldn't let them take her out of my room. I think I drove some nurses crazy." she smiled and walked back to Skylar's room Jay following close behind.

"Well just pack what you think she'll need." he said sitting down in the rocking chair that was in her room. "yea but every time I do I think of other stuff." Emma said walking back over to the bag she had open. "okay well I'll do it." he got up and went to his daughter's closet and picked out a denim jumper with a pink heart on it and a light blue tee-shirt with a few flowers on the front. Since she already had shoes on he didn't take any with him, he walked over to the Emma and placed them in the bag. "See simple." he smirked and went to put her pajams in the bag when Emma stoped him. "Not those she spilled this morning so better take new ones." she walked over to the dresser and took out a pair of light purple shorts and matching tee shirt. "Okay anything else?" he asked after she put those in the bag.

"Um how about her tooth brush and tooth past." she walked out and into the bathroom to get them. "Okay anything else?" "just her balnket, she can't sleep with out it, and her monkey but she'll carry that, and her cup and dish other than that she's packed." Jay nodded and packed everthing Emma had said plus some toys for Skylar to play with. When the baby was all packed Emma got Sky's jacket on and they walked out side to put her stuff in the car. "you better take the car seat with you Jay." Emma said and got it out of her car and placed it in his. When that was done she turned to Skylar who was in Jay's arms her head on his shoulder and pacifier in her mouth, monkey in her arms. "okay well I'll see you some time tomrrow." Emma said kissing Skylar "I love you okay, be a good girl for daddy. Okay?" she asked and Sky nodded hugging her mom around her neck, still in Jay's arms. Emma was so close to him she could smell his cologne, she got lost in her thought for a minute and leaned up and kissed him on the corronr of the mouth. "Thanks for taking her tonight Jay." "no probelm Em, I love spending time with her, and don't worry so much about tonight you'll be fine." he kissed her once more on the head and placed Skylar in her car seat and then got in the car and drove away.

Later that night Paige came over to help Emma get ready for her date. Emma was still a mess. "Hun calm down, will you." Paige said when Emma came out of her shower and looked frantically through her closet. "I can't Paige I haven't been on a date since me and Jay broke up." "I know that but your too jumpy just take a few breaths and realx. It'll be fine." Emma calmed down and sat at her vanity to brush out her hair while Paige finished looking through the closet, fianlly picking out an outfit, she laid it on the bed and took over doing Emma's hair and make up. An hour later Emma was dressed in a simple pair of black jeans with a light blue silk tank top, and a pair of black sandels. And her hair was pulled back into a braid going down her back.

"Okay Paige I have no idea what I'm doing." she said to her friend. "Em you'll be fine just breath and be yourself." Paige tried to calm her down, when there was a knock on the door. "He's here just relax you'll be fine." Paige gave her a smile before opeing the door. "Hey Tommy, I'll see you guys later." and with that she left. "So you ready to go?" "um yea lets go." They left the apartment and Emma had to take a few deep breather, she didn't remembver beign this scared when she was dating Jay or Sean. But when she was dating them she never had to worry about making a bad choice that would effect her and a child. She had to make choices for Sky, not herself.

The night was pretty normal for Emma, they had gone out for a bite to eat and a movie. She was having a great time but something kept nagging at her that something just wasn't right at all. "Emma are you okay?" Tommy asked her. "No I'll be right back." she said and walked off to the bathroom and took out her cell phone and dialed Sean and Jay's number.

Jay was having hard time with Skylar, she was fine that afternoon and earlier that night. But after her bath she started to fuss and just wasn't having a good night. All he could do was hold her as she cried. "Sean what the hell is the matter with her?!" he yelled at his friend. "How should I know I'm not a father, amybe she's sick?" he said and walked into the den where Jay was with Skylar in his arms. And Sean was right because after he walked in she started to cough and then threw up all over her dad (A/N Ha I used to do that lol anyway). "See told ya." Jay groaned and laid her down on the couch as she cried even more. "not funny." he walked off to go and change his shirt, while Sean picked the baby up and rubbed her back gently. "Come on baby it's okay." he tried in vain to calm her down, the phone rang and Sean tried to put her down but she just screamed even louder. "okay, okay I won't put you down." he shifted her and reached for the phone. "Hello." "Sean what's going on, is that Skylar crying?" "yea she is, she's sick." he said and shifted her again trying not to move her too much. Skylar was still screaming her head off when JAy came back in. "Oh God okay I'm coming over." "No, no Em you enjoy your date we can handel it." Emma laughed a little. "Sean no offense but do either of you know how to take care of a sick little girl?"

Jay took Skyl form his arms but stayed close, he knew he was on the phone with Emma. "Well not exactlly, but we'll manage." "not with my baby you won't I'm coming over and we're staying so I can take care of her." with that she hung up and so did he. "What did she say?" JAy asked as his daughter calmed down a bit but was still crying. "That she's coming over and stayign the night so she can help us." JAy sighed and held Skylar closer and went to lay down with her in his room.

Emma came out of the bathroom and saw Tommy sittign at the table drinking some coffie. "Hey." he smiled at her, "Tommy I need you to take me to Jay and Sean's apartment." she said looking over him. "What? Why?" he asked confused, he was having a good time and thought she was too. "My daughter is sick and I need to go and help take care of her." Tommy had a look of shock on his face, he had no idea she was a mother he liked her but didn't want to be with a girl that had that kind of responsibility. "yea sure why is she with them?" he asked as they walked out to his car, this was as a good of time to tell him. "She's mine and Jay's daughter." she said and climed into the car. Tommy was floored he knew that the two of them were togeather in high school and that she left after they broke up but Jay never told him that the two of them had a daughter. Now he really didn't want to be involved with her. He climed in and drove her to Jay's place.

"Thanks for taking me here and for tonight." she said as they pulled up to the apartemt complex. "Yea Em this isn't going to work for me, I'm not into a girl that has a kid. So this isn't going to happen again." he didn't even look at her just stared straight ahead. She nodded sadly and climed out and went to Jay and Sean's apartment and knocked on the door. JAy opend the door their screaming daughter in his arms. "Thanks God, I don't know what to do she was fine and then I don't know..." he trailed off and handed her to Emma. She took Skylar and rubbed her back and turned to Jay. "Jay just calm down, she'll be okay." she said and sat down on the couch and felt Skylar's head. "She's burning up." she told him and he came and sat down with her. "She going to be okay?" "yea she'll be fine, now tell me what happen." "well she was fine all day, you know we played and ate but after I gave her a bath she didn't look good and then started to cry and then she threw up on me." Emma laughed at that. "okay not funny Em I think she ruined my shirt." he said with a laugh "well welcome to parenthood."

The two spent the night taking care of Skylar. Around eleven that night she had finally fallen asleep, they got her to take some medicine but her fever still hadn't broken yet. Jay took Skylar from Emma, he walked down the hall to his bedroom and placed her in the middle of the bed. Emma came up behind him, "You did good Jay for first time." she said quietly in his ear. "thanks, so how was your date?" he asked her and a part of him didn't want her to have had a good time he wanted her to come back to him, so all three of them could be a family like they were supposed to be. "well it was great till I told him me and you have a baby then he told me he didn't want to date me." she said and looked up at him. "I'm sorry Em, looks like I ruined your life in more ways then one." he said and looked down.

Emma placed her hands on his face and made him look up at her. "Jay you didn't ruin anything for me." "yea I did I broke your heart, got you pregnant so you couldn't do any of the things you wanted to do. And because of out little girl you can't even find a guy that'll except the fact that you have a baby." she sighed and smiled at him, yes all of those things had happen but she was happy with her life and she wouldn't be this happy with out him. "Jayson Hogart you listen to me. I am so happy with my life yes bad things have happen in the past and I didn't get to do some of the things I wanted to because of Skylar, but I can't picture my life with out her in it I'm happy being a mom and I wouldn't be with out you. And it'll be hard to date with out the guy freaking out over me having a baby but I'll find some one who will except her and me. So you did not ruin anythign for me you helped me grow up." she said and smiled at him but hesitated before saying one more thing,

"And I love you for it" Jay could tell that she was a little uncomfortable with the last part so he didn't say anything just gave her a hug. "You can stay in here with Skylar incase she wakes up and I'll hit the couch." he said and leaned down to kiss Skylar on the forehead and went to leave but Emma pulled on his arm to stop him. "Stay here with us." she said looking him in the eye, he nodded and walked over to the side of the bed with her. After she climed in next to Skylar Jay climed in next to her and wrapped her in his arms. He closed his eyes and remembered the good times they had togeather. He still loved her and loved this, him holding the love of his life with their child sleeping next to them. Jay closed his eyes and fell asleep.

_I hate myself for losing you_

_I'm seeing it allso clear_

_I hate myself for losing you_

_What do you do whenyou look in the mirror_

_And staring at you is why he's not here?_

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**Okay guys here's the next chapter sorry it's so short but my dad is being a jerk and is making me clean the bathroom because my brother and his friends are staying over because of the stupid snow storm here. Anyway hope you liked it and please review when your done.**

**Allie**


	5. Cold

**Hey guys I'm so so sorry this took forever, but I've had writer's block and then my computer broke down, and I've been so busy with finishing school and all that crap. So anyway I just wanted to say thank you to every one who has been so patient with me and every one who has reviewed. I hope you like this. **

**Anyway I don't own anyone in this story except Skylar, and I don't own the song used it is owned by CrossFace. So anyway enjoy and review**

**CHAPTER 5: COLD**

_Looking back at me I see_

_That I never really got it right_

_I never stopped to think of you_

_I'm always wrapped up in_

_Things I cannot win_

_You are the antidote that gets me by_

_Something strong_

_Like a drug that gets me high_

After the night Skylar got sick, Jay had been spending more and more time with them. Which should have been a good thing, Jay got to be with his daughter and the love of his life, and Skylar got to be with her father. And that was something she had wanted ever since her daughter was born but she had been so closed off that she didn't let him in and it was her fault that her daughter had to wait two years to meet her father. Emma never meant to keep them apart, she was just scared of being hurt and this time around it wasn't just her who risked getting hurt but Skylar too and she would never put her daughter through that pain.

As time passed and the broken family grew closer and closer to each other she felt all her old feelings come back over her. She wanted to be with Jay again, but she just wouldn't let herself, her fear and pride kept getting in the way. She had talked to Paige about this and her best friend's advice was to go for it, Jay was the one she was supposed to be with. Her heart wanted to agree with Paige and just go to him and tell him she loved him, but she acted cold towards him. It was how she learned to act and it was hard to break the habit.

Emma was home one night, catching up with her school work. It was getting harder as time went by, the work was piling up, she had to work over time a lot of nights, and then taking care of Skylar she was defiantly feeling the pressure. She was finally about to snap and begged Paige to take Skylar for the night, since Emma didn't have to work and had work for classes to catch up on. Paige gladly took her in, but it seemed a little suspicious to Emma, almost like her best friend was up to something.

Emma had been working for a couple of hours already and things were going good, she was half way through her work but she needed a break. Just as the thought hit her there was a knock at the door. Sighing she pulled her long blonde hair back as she walked to the door. "Who is it?" she asked through the door. "It's Jay can I come in?" Emma felt a shiver go through her body at the sound of his voice; it didn't come from being cold or from feeling uneasy but from feeling comfort, knowing that she used to be able to go to him when the world around her was caving in.

She took a deep breath and opened the door to see his smiling face; it was the same smile that she fell for those past years. "Hi." She said and it came out a little breathless. She couldn't understand why she was acting like she was 15 again; she was 18 now and the mother of a toddler. And this was the man who hurt her and left her scared to breathe again, left her in constant fear that loving someone would be the death of her.

Internally she shook away the warmth and comfort his presence brought her. Once they were gone, the cold protective Emma came out. "What are you doing here Jay? Paige has Skylar for the night, I told you that yesterday." She was trying to be angry it was what she had been accustomed too, ever since she had come home. "Yea I know she is with Paige. What you think I don't pay attention when it comes to my baby?" Jay quickly had picked up on Emma's cold and hateful attitude and before he wished that if first would go away, that she just needed time to adjust to having him back in her life again. But soon he saw that even though it was just a front, a mask for her true feelings, he became tired of it. He loved her and made it plainly obvious to everyone; that is every one but Emma.

That was something Jay Hogart only did once before in his life, when he first realized that Emma Nelson was the love of his life. And the only thing it got him was years of lies and heart ache. He did cause her pain and deserved the pain he felt and was still feeling, but the lies he didn't deserve, his daughter didn't deserve them either.

"You never cared before." She said coldly as she let him into the apartment. "Yea and who's fault is that Nelson?" he asked in a sarcastic tone while glaring at her, when they were alone they let lose all the pain and anger they held out, they put on happy faces for their friends and mostly for Skylar. "It wasn't mine." She pouted and crossed her arms like Skylar did when she didn't get her way. "Oh come off it Emma I couldn't care because you kept her from me for tow years, or did you forget that when you were playing the victim.

"You could have done something. May come after me did you ever think of that one." She knew he was right she was to blame for him not being there for Skylar till now. "Look I didn't come here to fight with you princess, there is something I wanted to ask you." Sighing she sat back on the couch with Jay sitting across from her on the chair. "Fine talk." She picked up the book she was previously going through. Jay knew she was going to be a stubborn brat about this. "Could you maybe put the damn book done for a minute?"

Emma didn't answer just continued to go through her text book. Over the edge of the book she could see he was getting mad and was trying very hard to scream at her, she knew she was being a pain in the ass but at the moment she didn't care. "DAMNIT EMMA!" Jay yelled making her jump in her seat, he never yelled at her when they were together, the only time he did was when he found out she had been keeping their daughter a secret. The broke couple did fight, but never screamed at each other. This is why the sudden raise in his voice made her jump and look at him with wide eyes.

Jay stood up and took a few deep breaths before looking at her again. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell, but this is very important and I need you to hear me okay?" she nodded and gave him her full attention. "Look is something we need to do, okay so I want you to listen to me and let me finish before you say anything at all." He told her looking her straight in the eye. Emma was getting nervous. "I've been thinking and me being with Skylar just when you say I can isn't enough for me." Emma began to pain and questions ran through her head, making the room spin. 'Is he going to try to take custody of her?' was the one that was making her breathing come out in short panicked breaths.

Jay turned and looked at her and saw the look on her suddenly pale face, she looked like she was going to pass out. He quickly rushed to her side and tried to calm her down. "Emma what's wrong? Come on take a deep breath." He was rubbing her arms gently making her feel a bit calmer. But suddenly she remembered what he was saying and jerked her arms away from him. "You are, never going to take my daughter away from me." Emma said in the coldest tone he had ever heard.

Jay looked at her confused as to what she had just said and wondered where she had gotten that idea from. "Emma what are you talking about? I would never try to take OUR daughter away from you." He said and put emphasis on the word our. "Yes you would you just said you wanted to see her more with me saying when." She was still shaking from nerves that this was really happening and because she was angry with him.

Jay sighed and looked down, now he knew where she got that idea from. He didn't want to take Skylar away from her mother; he wanted to raise her with her mother, as an actual family. "Emma listen to me, I didn't mean that I would take her away from you. I would never do that, no matter how mad I am that you didn't tell me about her from the beginning, I would never do something so cruel and hateful to you." She stood up and faced him again only now her glare turned into a look of questioning.

"Then what did you mean?" Jay took a deep breath, what he was going to ask her was more difficult that he imagined, and he was afraid she might say no and then he would never have his family. "I want either for you and Sky to move in with me, or me move in here with you two. I want us to raise our daughter as a family, under one roof."

Emma didn't know what to say or do. This was more confusing than when she though he wanted custody. "Jay really I don't know what to say to you. I think that if we were to move in with each other it would be confusing to Sky." Jay sighed and sat down on the couch still looking at her. "Yea it might be but Emma isn't it more confusing now, when she has to stay in one room in one house, and then go to another room in another house. She might ask questions as to why her mom and dad don't live together like her friends parents do." "True but Jay it would be to confusing on a toddler"

"Emma this situation is already confusing on her, and it's going to get more complicated as she gets older." He sighed and rubbed at his temples he was getting a head ach already, and didn't want to keep going in circles with her so he was going to leave it in his love's hands. "Look Emma I've said all I had to say. You know what I want and why I want it, so now it's up to you. Let me know when you make your decision, just keep in mind our daughter, and not our past." He said in a cold tone, and left her alone in the apartment to think about he had suggested.

Emma sat on the couch and thought about what Jay was suggesting. He wanted them to live together, and in a way it was a good because it would probably lessen the confusion level for Skylar for when she got older. But it could give her false hopes as she got older, she could expect Jay and her to get married and have more children. She didn't know what to do but for now she was going to be cold and ignore him till she figured it out. She just had to keep her anger on so he wouldn't see her true emotions

_I never really wanted you to see_

_The screwed up side of me that I keep_

_Locked inside of me so deep_

_It always seems to get to me_

_I never really wanted you to go_

_So many things you should have known_

_I guess for me theres just no hope_

_I never meant to be so cold _

"_Cold"- CrossFace_

**Okay guys here is the next chapter and again I apologies for the LONG wait hopefully this makes up for it. And just to let you know, on Monday I will be on a school trip to Europe from Monday the 6th to Thursday the 16th. But while I'm away I'll be working on this and my other story. So there will be something to look forward to. Again my deepest apologies**

**Allie**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys I got back on Wednesday from my trip, but I've had jetlag pretty bad, but here is the next chapter I hope you like it and please review even if it sucks. And remember I own no one except Skylar and the song used belongs to New Found Glory. So yea enjoy, oh and thanks to Raven for correcting me on the spelling on the band I used last time, I was typing and wasn't paying attention.**

**CHAPTER 6/ FORGET EVERYTHING.**

_Can we pretend for one second that we are together,_

_What's the point of keeping my feelings at bay,_

_It takes a lot out of me,_

_To get the nerve to wake up,_

_Everyday._

Over and over Jay's offer played in Emma's mind. She couldn't stop thinking about it, but no matter how much she though, she could never come up with an answer. She was constantly battling with her feelings for him; part of her said ' let him move in, maybe this could be another chance for you and him to be happy again.' And the other part of her mind was saying ' don't let him that close, if he's to close than you and Skylar will get hurt all over again'. She was more confused than she ever was in her young life.

Emma knew that this was a big decision for not only her, but for Jay and Skylar. She had to bring in another person to help make a choice. So she called Paige, if anyone could help her, her best friend could. Paige had no choice but to come to her friends rescue. It's hard to turn someone down when they call you in a panic and pretty much hyperventilating.

Emma was not the only one whose mind was racing. Jay's was going nonstop since he left Emma's apartment that night. He wanted to know what she was going to do, it was driving him crazy but that's what she did to him. She'd driven him crazy since the first day he had met her, but that's what he loved about her then and now. Every time he saw her in the halls at the university or whenever they were with friends, or even when he picked up or dropped over the baby she never spoke a word to him other than a hello or just a quick conversation about bringing Sky home or what not.

Emma sat with Paige in her apartment, with Skylar playing on the floor in the living room. "So tell me what the problem is, exactly?" Paige asked sipping her tea. "My problem is that he wants to move in with me and Skylar, and that's a big problem" Paige sighed and looked at her friend like she had grown another head. "Emma it is not a problem, he wants to be with you and his daughter all the time that means that he wants to be a family with you. So why is that a bad thing, you love him and he loves you. You both love your daughter." Emma looked Paige straight in the eye as she answered. "Paige do you remember what happen in high school. He doesn't love me, he never did. The only reason why he wants to move in is to be with Sky, it's the responsible thing to do."

"See Emma this is where I and everyone else disagree with you. Jay has ALWAYS loved you and always will. He has never pretended it was never a lie. Yes what he did in high school was mean and hurtful and it made you leave. But Emma that's in the past forget about everything that is happening now. Jay is a wonderful father to Skylar; we can all see the love he has for you. And he wants to move in with you because of his love and so Skylar can have a both her parents with her all the time, so she can have a family." Emma knew her friend was right, but she would never admit it for the fear and doubt she still held inside of her.

"Em if you don't let go of the past and let things with Jay and you move on to something good that you'll regret the choices you make. Think about it Emma, do you want to maybe lose another chance with the person you love." Paige said to her leaning forward slightly looking Emma in the eye. "Stop thinking with your head and start thinking with your heart. It will lead you in the right direction." Emma was left in her own mind to think about everything her best friend was telling her. Her only problem was if she could actually follow what her heart wanted and leave the past in the past.

Sean was getting pretty annoyed with Jay; ever since he talked to Emma Sean had noticed a change in his friend's personality. He seemed to be in his own world more than usual, and he seemed to pick up more nervous habits, that are what was getting on Sean's nerves the most. Like today, they were in the library studying and Jay kept tapping his pen against the book, and the speed kept getting faster and faster. He had already lost the pen once before almost hitting Sean in the head. Finally fed up with Jay's insistent tapping, Sean leaned forward a bit and grabbed the pen quickly out of his friend's hand. He grabbed a bit too quickly though and bent Jay's finger backwards a bit.

"Ow man that hurt. What the hell was that for!" Jay said in a hush, yet firm tone while shaking his hand out a bit to get rid of the slight pain. Sean rolled his eyes before answering him. "I was getting tired of the tapping, and was almost hit once I didn't feel like a repeat of it too." "Sorry, but you didn't have to bend my finger." Jay said now holding his hand to make point that it did indeed hurt. "Jay why don't you tell me what's on your mind?" Sean said leaning back in his chair. Jay sighed and did the same but was looking down at the book in front of him.

"I don't know man, it's been weeks since I made my offer to Emma and she hasn't said anything to me yet. It's just making me really nervous." Sean shook his head at his friend. He knew that Jay was nervous, that was understandable. The thing that was hard to believe was that Jay was sitting back and doing nothing about this. The Jay he knew would demand and answer not sit back and drive him and everyone around him crazy. "Jay this is not you at all." Jay looked at Sean confused as to what he was referring too.

"Sean what are you talking about?" Sean shook his head again and threw his pencil at Jay, hitting him in the forehead. "Sea come on, I have no idea what you're talking about, seriously." Sean sighed and leaned forward so Jay had to listen to what he had to say. "The Jay I know, would never just sit back and drive himself crazy waiting for an answer. The Jay I know would go to her and demand an answer already it's been weeks, you deserver to know what's going on. So stop thinking about it and actually do something about it already." With that said Sean got up from the table and left his friend there to think about what he had just said. And hopefully he had gotten through to him.

Emma was at home folding some of her laundry, while Skylar took her afternoon nap in her room. She was still debating about what to do with Jay. The choice was getting easier to make ever since her conversation with Paige, but it was still a hard one to make with or without Paige's advice. While folding one of her daughter's shirts, there was a knock at her door. Sighing she put the shirt down and walked over to the door, and pulled it open quickly making the person behind it jump slightly. That person was Jay.

Jay knew that Sean was right, he shouldn't be waiting around waiting for her, letting her play this out for weeks on end without so much as a word. He knew it was a big decision but he was tired of waiting, he wanted an answer and he wanted it now. So there he stood ready to get what he wanted, an answer that deep down he knew would favor him. He jumped slightly when she pulled the door open quickly. There she stood before him, not saying anything, most likely waiting for him to explain why he was here. But Jay stood there frozen, in the car he planed what he would say but that all disappeared once he came face to face with her.

Emma finally got tired of standing in silence with Jay, so she broke the silence. "Jay what are you doing here?" her voice broke through his drifting thoughts and he found his voice. "Emma, I'm tired of waiting for your answer. I know it's a big decision but come on you've had weeks to think. Now I want your answer already." He finally got it out and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Emma stood there a little stunned, she could tell he was frustrated and his frustration could easily turn to anger, which could lead to a fight between them. She knew he wanted and needed an answer, and, by seeing him and hearing his determined words she finally came to one.

"Okay fine, come inside and I'll give you my decision." She moved out of the way and held the door for him to walk in. she lead him into the living room, where the laundry still sat on the floor. Jay sat on the couch and turned to face her, waiting for a moment as she collected her thoughts. "Emma please just tell me." His voice had softened, not only because he figured his daughter was sleeping, but because he wanted to comfort her, he knew this couldn't be easy on her.

Emma took a deep breath and looked in straight in the eye. "Okay Jay I've come to a decision. You can move in here with me and Skylar." She said with ease. The look on his face was one of pure happiness, he got what he wanted to be with Emma and with his daughter all he wanted. "But before you start to celebrate, there are a few things I want to say." Emma's voice cut into his thoughts. By her tone he could tell she was serious so he cleared his head and gave her his full attention.

"First this is going to be a big adjustment to all of us, mainly Skylar. So I want under no circumstances for you to give her the idea that we are together, the only reason you're moving in here is be with her more. That's it; there will be no relationship between us. Our relationship ended a long time ago; from now on we are friends and friends alone. Is that clear?" Jay nodded his head to all of this, but he didn't believe the end of what she said, she wasn't very convincing when her voice shook with emotion. He would prove her that their relationship wasn't dead.

_I can't remember the last time I saw you smile,_

_It might have been around this time last year,_

_It takes a lot of me,_

_To get the nerve to tell you everything is okay_

_New Found Glory (Forget Everything)_

**Hey guys hope you like this chapter, sorry it's not to long but hey I gave you all the answer you all wanted, so be happy with that lol. Well anyway please review and let me know what you think. And I'll be working on the next chapter to my other story tomorrow so look out for that update soon.**

**Allie**


	7. Hard to say

**Hey guys sorry it took awhile to get this chapter up; I think you** **all will like it. And thank you to every one who has reviewed the story so far. So read, enjoy, and review. And I do not own the song used in this chapter, it belongs to The Used.**

**CHAPTER 7; HARD TO SAY.**

_My worries weigh the world, how I used to be_

_And everything, I'm cold, seems a plague in me_

_And it's hard to say how I feel today_

_For years gone by and I cried. "Hard to say"- The Used._

Tension was high in the apartment between Jay and Emma. She tried to avoid him as much as possible, having him this close to her again was proving to be harder than she expected it to be. When Jay first moved in it was weird having him around all the time, she was used to him just coming to pick up their daughter and drop her off back home, not having him be there every waking moment.

By Jay living with her brought back all her old memories and thoughts. In high school she loved him with everything she had inside of her, and this is what she had wanted with him, to have a family with him; having him around her all the time was brining back all of her old feelings towards him and it was hurting her trying to push them away all over again. But she had to act like a bitch just to keep him away, even though it hurt to.

Jay could tell that him moving in was bothering Emma on some level, but he wasn't going to give up his chance to be with his daughter just so she could be more comfortable. He loved Emma, always have and always will, but he had enough of her attitude towards him. It was like high school all over again she would be rude and nasty to him when ever she got the chance, and even though he loved her he wasn't going to take it any more, but he sure as hell wasn't leaving.

Jay was out with Skylar for the day while Emma was at work, it was getting close to Christmas and he had to smile when he saw his daughter play in the snow and talk non-stop about what she wanted Santa to bring her. "Come on Sky, it's getting to cold out." Jay called out to the toddler who was busy trying to kick her small legs at the falling snow. "No, I wan stay here." She said her breath coming out in clouds, and her face turning pink from being in the cold.

Jay shook his head and picked her up, making her whine to get down. "Nope sorry sweetheart, it's getting to cold; and if I keep you get sick your mommy will be very upset with me." He told her as they walked back towards his car. Once she was strapped in they headed back home, "Daddy when does Santa come?" Skylar asked from the back seat. "Soon baby really soon, what did you ask for this year?" he asked her knowing he went out and pretty much bought out the toy store for her. "I not telling." She giggled and smiled at him. Jay shook his head and continued to drive home, and then a thought struck him. What was he going to get Emma, it seemed only right to get her something since they were living together, now he just had to figure something out?

Emma was in the kitchen fixing dinner and waiting for Jay and Skylar to come home. She was lost in her thoughts of the up coming holidays and didn't hear the front door open or Paige and Hazel call out her name till Paige tugged on her hair lightly. "Paige could you not give me a heart attack!" Emma yelled as she jumped at the sudden contact making her friends laugh. "What are you doing here anyway?" she asked and went back to cooking.

"Well we came to see if you want to do a bit of Christmas shopping with your two best friends ever." Hazel said with her normal sweet smile on her face. "I would love to, but I have to feed Skylar and then have stuff to do around here." Emma said while cutting up vegetables. "Emma Jay can feed Sky and he can do whatever has to be done around here." Paige told her, she knew her friend needed time away for herself. "Ok fine but it's going to have to wait till Jay gets home with Sky." Emma said just as the front door opened and in walked Jay with Skylar in his arms.

"Mama daddy and I built a snow man!" the toddler replied happily as her father put her down and she took off running to her mother. "That's great baby, but have daddy help you take off your snow suite." Emma told her and the little girl quickly made her way over to Jay who helped her take off her snow suite, scarf, mittens and boots. "Hey guys." He said when he walked in the kitchen and saw the other girls sitting there. "Hey Jay." Hazel said and Paige waved at him as Skylar told her about her day in the snow.

"Jay can you feed Skylar tonight and give her a bath? I'm going out with Hazel and Paige for awhile." Emma asked as she picked up Sky and placed her in her booster seat. "Yea sure go ahead and have fun, me and Sky will be just fine." Jay said as he went and got her baby plat and sippy cup. Emma went and got her coat before coming back in the kitchen. To see Jay already feeding Skylar some of the chicken, and vegetables to the toddler. "Ok Jay we'll be back around 10 at the latest and I have my cell if you need me." Emma was always frantic when it came to leaving Skylar, even if it was with Jay.

Jay turned away from Skylar to look over at Emma, a smirk on his face. "Em we'll be fine, go out have fun and relax will ya." He said with a small laugh and even making Skylar laugh a little. And even Emma laughed a little she knew she could trust Jay. "Ok fine. Bye baby I love you." "awww I love you too." Jay said making them all laugh even though he was being serious. "I was talking to Skylar." Emma said kissing her daughter on the head as she continued to eat her dinner.

The girls were walking around the mall going into random stores trying to find presents for everyone. "So Em do you know what you're going to get Jay?" Paige asked as they went into a clothing store to look around. Emma turned away from the wrack of clothing to look at Paige. "Do you think I should get him something?" she asked her friends that looked at her strangely after her question. "Well let's see, he is the love of your life even though you deny it constantly, he is the father of your daughter, and he lives with you and raises that little girl with you as if you were one big happy family. So yea I would defiantly get him at least one thing." Paige told her. Emma sighed and shook her head.

Jay was in the bathroom giving Skylar her bath for the night; well more like she was giving him the bath since she was splashing him. "Hey baby what should I get mommy for Christmas?" He asked while pouring water gently over her head. "Something purty" she said playing with her doll. "Well do you have any ideas?" the little girl shrugged her shoulders at him. "Ok babe come on you're done." Jay said while taking her out of the water to dry her off. "I know!" Skylar yelled as he pulled her pajama top over her head and ran out of the bathroom, Jay not far behind.

Skylar made her way into her mothers room and over to the dresser, and reached up as high as she could for the top of the dresser. Jay quickly came over to her and lifted her so she could get at the jewelry box Emma kept. "Sky what are you looking for baby?" he asked as her tiny hands made quick work inside the box. "This." She said and held up a small white gold ring; the same ring that he had given Emma so long ago.

Jay couldn't believe his eyes, she had kept the ring. He had thought she would have gotten rid of it. This proved that a small part of her still loved him. "How about something to go with this?" Skylar asked handing her father the ring. "I think that's a perfect idea baby." Jay kissed her head, and placed the ring back inside and headed to his daughter's room to put her to bed.

"Skylar do you know why mommy doesn't wear that ring?" he asked her as he tucked her into her toddler bed they had just bought her. "I don't know, she looks at it all da time." She said with a small yawn. "I love you Skylar." Jay said kissing her forehead and smiled when he only got a sleepy mumble in response.

Over the next few days Jay knew exactly what he was getting Emma for Christmas and was on his way to pick it up now, with Sean beside him. Getting her the gift was a bit more difficult than he expected it to be. He had to get the ring out of Emma's jewelry box without her noticing it was missing, so he could make sure it matched perfectly for what he got her. But thankfully he got it out without her noticing.

Finally making it to the jewelry store in time Jay took the ring out of his pocket and gave it to the women behind the glass counter. A few minutes later the woman came back and handed him a medium size, blue velvet box that held the ring and her present, hopefully she'll like it and what he had to say to her. After paying for it and leaving he began to go over in his head what he was going to say to her and he began to get nervous.

Emma sat in her old bedroom in her parent's house, her parents were watching Skylar while she sat in her old room wrapping some presents for her mom. She was still thinking of what Paige had said to her not that long ago, and it had nothing to do with getting him a present. Paige had said she still loved Jay only she denied it and her best friend was right. Emma loved Jay; always had always will. She was just so scared of getting hurt again so she denied it at every chance she got and would only admit her true feelings to herself.

Shaking her head Emma tried to rid her mind of thoughts of Jay, her love for him and the images her mind was making of them. The two of them married, raising Skylar, having another child. Even though she didn't want to think of those things she couldn't help but smile at the thought of living her life with Jay. "Emma are you still down there?" she was brought out of her thoughts by her Snake calling her. "Yea dad I'm almost finished down here." She called and went back to wrapping presents. She tried to distract herself but it was no use Jay kept flooding her mind. There was only one to get her mind back on track and that was to say the hardest thing to say.

It was finally Christmas Eve; time seemed to get away with Emma she didn't exactly get Jay a gift, what she was giving him was more important than anything she could get him. She was going to tell him that she still loved him. It was too hard to be in the same space with him every day and have her old feelings building up and being too scared to share them. She wasn't scared anymore and her friends were proud of her for it. It seemed that they all had a bet going for as to when she would finally break and let it out. Jimmy won by the way.

Jay sat in his bedroom with Skylar on floor helping him wrap presents. "Sky hand me the tape." He called to her. "Daddy help!" was his only response looking up he saw Skylar on the floor with tape wrapped all around her, and he couldn't help but laugh. "Baby how did you do this?" Jay asked her getting up from the bed to help untangle her. "I don't know." She said pulling it away from her face. "Well next time daddy will be in charge of the tape." He told her as he finally pulled all of the tape away, and the little girl nodded.

After Jay got the tape off of Skylar and finished his gift wrapping, it was time to head out. Paige had decided she wanted to have a big Christmas party to celebrate Emma and Skylar's first Christmas back here. He noticed on the way to Paige's house that Emma couldn't sit still and seemed more quiet than usual. She kept playing with the hem of her black skirt. "Em are you okay? You've been quiet the whole day." Jay asked her as they neared Paige's place. "It's nothing really." She gave him a smile and looked back to check on Skylar who was looking out the window at the falling snow.

The party was in full swing, all of Emma's friends were there. Along with her parents, Joey, and Caitlin. But even though she tried to enjoy her self there was still the fear of letting Jay know how she felt lingering in her mind. Emma was off in a corner of the living room next to Marco watching her friends and family; she smiled when she saw Skylar pulled on Sean's hair making him wince.

Emma was brought out of her thoughts by the familiar feeling of her mothers arms wrapped around her. "I'm so happy you decided to finally come home, this is where you and your daughter belong." Snake said kissing her daughters head. "I'm happy we're here too, Skylar loves it here." Emma said smiling at her laughing daughter.

Jay was sitting on the couch with Skylar on his lap and Sean next to him, Jimmy on the other. "Daddy when can mommy have her present?" She asked playing with the hem of her shimmer red dress Hazel bought her for the holiday. "When it's time to open presents." He told her and laughed when she pouted. "Sky don't pout it's not much longer." Jimmy told her tickling her to get her to smile, which worked after a minute. "but you said that at dinner." The little girl whined at him. "Skylar Paige don't whine, we'll get to presents soon." Jay told her firmly making her stop pouting and crawled into Jimmy's lap. "Ok guys time to open presents!" Paige yelled, making Skylar's head shot up. She jumped off of Jimmy's lap and moved to sit in front of the lit up tree with Jack and Angela.

As the night went on every one exchanged gifts and had a great time just being with each other. Even Jay and Emma had gotten pretty close to each other, Jay sat on the couch with Emma tucked closely next to him her legs spread out over his lap. Her closeness surprised him when she first draped her lower body on him and moved closer to his body. But after a few minutes he got over her shock and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, enjoying the feeling of having her in his arms once again; even if it was just for this moment and not the rest of his life like he so desperately wanted.

Emma surprised herself even as she sat on the couch next to Jay and placed her legs in his lap. But this is what she wanted to be close to him as possible she never wanted to let go of him and this was a start as to show how she truly felt, but she knew she would have to voice her feelings soon. After watching Skylar destroy the wrapping paper, along with Jack and Angela. The rest of them opened their gifts from one another, and Emma decided she wanted to tell Jay about her feelings now. Pulling away from him slightly " Jay can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked him quietly so no one else could hear. "Yea sure." He got up and took her hand, pulling her into the kitchen where it was quieter.

Once they were in the kitchen Emma stood against the counter looking at the floor. "Emma are you going to say something or are we going to stare at your shoes all night?" Jay asked moving so he was in front of her. Emma looked up and took a deep breath before speaking. "Look this is not easy for me to say, but I have to say it. So just be quiet and let me get it out ok?" she asked him looking him straight in the eye, Jay just nodded his head and waited for her to continue.

"Jay I know that when I first came home, and ever since you moved in I've been very cold towards you. I want to say I'm sorry for that, I was cold because I was scared that if I let you get close to me again, that I would get hurt all over again. so me being cold was the only was to protect myself. But once you moved in and I saw how much you truly have grown since high school. You're not the same cruel, self-fish, arrogant Jason Hogart that most people saw. You're the sweet, caring, loving Jason Hogart that I fell in love. I still love you, I never stopped Jay." By the time she finished say what she had been holding in for so long, she had tears in her eyes. Saying these emotions brought them along with the fear of being rejected by the man she loved.

Jay was quiet for a moment he couldn't believe that she had just said the words he had wanted hear for so long. He knew her quietness was because she was waiting for him to say something, and he could see the fear in her eyes. Giving her his trade mark smirk he moved closer to her and placed one hand behind her head, and the other around her waist. He waited a moment to see if she pulled back before he leaned in even further and kissed her like it was their first time; soft and slow at first before adding more pressure. Jay smiled into the kiss when he felt her small hands rest on his shoulders, pulling him closer to her.

When the pair finally pulled apart Jay smiled and gently kissed her forehead. "I love you so much Emma." He whispered softly making her smile. Jay kissed her once more before pulling her into a hug. "Merry Christmas Emma." "Merry Christmas Jay." And they stood there just holding each other, not wanting to let go ever again.

_It's hard to say that I was wrong_

_It's hard to say I miss you_

_Since you've been gone, it's not the same_

_It's hard to say I held my tongue _

_It's hard to say if only _

_Since you've been gone, it's not the same.- "Hard to say"- The Used._

**Okay guys I know it looks like it's the end but trust me it's not over yet, there will be a few more chapters left. So I hope you liked this one, and don't forget to review.**

**Allie**


	8. Right here in my arms

**CHAPTER 8; RIGHT HERE IN MY ARMS**

_She is smiling like heaven is down on earth_

_Sun shinning so bright on her_

_And all her wishes have finally come true_

_And her heart is weeping _

_The happiness is killing her. - "Right here in my arms." HIM._

In the early morning hours just a week after Christmas Emma shivered as a cold breeze fell into the bedroom. To keep her warmth she pulled the blankets around her more securely and smiled when she felt a familiar body move and pull her closer to them. "Why are you shivering?" Jay asked her and she rested her head on his chest. "It's cold in here. What time is it anyway?" she asked leaning up to look at the clock. "Damn it's only 5:30." She said and fell back against her boyfriend. "Then go back to sleep." Jay told her with a yawn and closed his eyes once again.

After he fell asleep Emma laid there and listened to the steadiness of his heart beat. She had been doing this every morning for the past week; it all seemed so surreal to her. She had the person she loved back with her and their child, Emma never thought she would have this with him; but even thought she was happy to have him back in her life like this there was still a cloud of doubt, worry and fear hanging over their relationship. Her fearful thoughts kept her awake, careful not to disturb her sleeping love, she carefully rolled away from his warm body and walked out of the room and out to the living room.

The living room was cold and shivers ran through Emma's body quickly startling her awake. Walking into the kitchen Emma grabbed Jay's coat and placed it over her shaking form, and made her way over to the counter to make some coffee. While she waited Emma had a seat at the kitchen table and smiled when she saw a picture that Skylar had drawn the night before. It was a picture of Emma, Jay and Skylar but there was another tiny little person drawn on the paper and Emma was holding it. Looking closer at it, it resembled a bundle of blankets with a small head and that's when Emma realized that in the drawing she was holding a baby. 'I need to show this to Jay.' She thought and took the drawing into their bedroom.

"Jay wake up" Emma said climbing back on the bed beside him and shaking his shoulder. He just grunted and rolled over on his stomach, face buried into his pillow. "No go away!" he mumbled into the pillow. Emma was not going to let him sleep she wanted to talk with him about their daughter's picture. Emma moved over to straddle her boyfriends back and pushed on his shoulders till he woke up. "Jay wake up already will you!" she said while continuing to shake him.

Jay was finally annoyed with the shaking his girlfriend was causing so with a grunt of frustration he rolled over causing Emma to fall back wards on the bed and have to lean on her elbows to look him in the face. "Ok I'm up now what is so damn important?" Emma didn't say anything she just handed him the drawing. Jay took it from her hands and studied it for a moment before looking at her. "Emma it's a drawing that Sky did yesterday before bed, so what." He said putting it on the night stand and readjusting the pillows to prop himself up. "No Jay look at what I'm holding in the picture." Emma said picking it up and sitting herself on his lap.

"It looks like a big blue blob Emma what are you freaking out about?" Jay had looked at the drawing intensely and still couldn't see what she was seeing. With a frustrated sigh Emma snatched the picture from his hands. "It's a baby Jay; she wants us to have another baby so she can a brother or sister." She told him and looked away from him. "So I don't see the problem with that Emma we love each other, I want to be with you for the rest of my life, so eventually we will have another baby." Jay told her gently lifting her chin so she was looking at him. Looking away from him again she mumbled. "What did you say Em?" Jay asked her. She looked back up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I don't know if we can have another baby." It's not that she couldn't have another baby or that she didn't want to she was just scared too. "Why don't you think we can have another baby?" Jay asked her gently while rubbing the back of neck gently, "I mean come on we make the best ones." He said with a smirk trying to get her to laugh and it worked because she let out a small laugh. "It's not that I can't Jay I am capable of having more children, it's just that…" she said but drifted off at the end of her sentence. "Emma what's wrong, just tell me?" Jay said trying to get her to look at him but she kept avoiding eye contact with him.

"Emma come on, tell me." He told her for him they couldn't have a good start to the new relationship unless they had enough trust in each other to tell what was on their minds it'll be like in high school with lying and secrets. "I'm just scared." She finally confessed to him.

"Scared of what, Em you were happy with us being back together what changed?" he asked her clearly confused as to what she was telling him. "I know I know I was fine and I still am but come on can you blame me. I mean the last time we were together look what happened. You lied to me and broke my heart; I got pregnant, and moved away for two years and lied to you about it." "True but look at us now, we're together, we love each other, and we're raising our daughter together. Please Emma lets try to move on from the past and start over, please." He begged her, he knew where she was coming from and he couldn't blame her for being scared but to make this work they needed to move on from the past and concentrate on today and what tomorrow would bring them.

"I know, I love you Jay and I'm happy with you it's just going to take some time for me to be able to fully trust myself with you. Just give me time." She told him making him smile. "Take all the time you need; I'll wait till the end of time for you." He told her and pulled her into his arms and kissed her gently, mumbling 'I love you' to her.

_So hard she's trying_

_But her heart won't turn to stone…oh no_

_She keeps on crying _

_But I won't leave her alone_

_She'll never be alone- "Right here in my arms"- HIM._

**Ok I know this chapter wasn't that great and it took me forever to get this up, I've just been really busy with school. But I hope you like this even though it isn't very long and not much happened in it. But I would really appreciate it if you review it any way. And I promise I will try extremely hard to get the next chapter up sooner and I promise it will be better.**

**Allie.**


	9. More than anyone

**Hey everyone I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update but let's just say that life is one crazy bitch. So yea anyway I'm sick and can't breath right so I'm home and am writing the next chapter of this story. So yea I hope all of you are still interested in this story and will read it and review. And as always I own no one except those not of the show, so yes enjoy.**

**CHAPTER 9; MORE THAN ANYONE.**

_You need a friend I'll be around_

_Don't let this end before I see you again_

_What can I say to convince you_

_To change your mind?_

_I'm going to love you more than anyone_

_I'm going to hold you closer than before- "More than anyone"- Gavin Degraw_

Jay kept to his word and waited for Emma to be comfortable in their relationship. It wasn't an easy task, at times the worry and fear seemed to take over who she was and they would fight, over the smallest thing, and it would lead to yelling and screaming and accusations being mad. In the end though her mind would clear and things would calm down between them. Neither one knew how much longer their lives were going to be like this, nor did either know how much more they could handle.

Emma knew that she needed to just relax and calm down that this time with Jay was different, they were different now. He had grown up since the last time they were together, he really loved her and always has, and besides he would never hurt her again in fear of losing her and losing their daughter. She loved him and trusted him, but why she couldn't relax she didn't understand. All Emma wanted was to be happy with him and to live their lives as a family but she couldn't yet. Something was holding her back though, something from their past.

Paige and Emma were out shopping at the mall with Skylar and it wasn't the happy shopping adventure that Paige had planned. Emma was quiet as they traveled from store to store, only giving one word answers or just a nod of her head. And it was frustrating Paige to the point of ripping her hair from her skull. As they were going through the makeup in Victoria's secret Paige got fed up with her friend's tendency to zone out of their conversation. "Emma are you listening to me? Emma!!" when she got no response she threw the tester of a lip gloss at her friend's head, which finally brought Emma back to reality.

"Paige what was that for!?" Emma yelled at her friend and picked up the lip gloss. "It was for not listening when your friend is talking; now tell me what the hell as got you so distracted?" Paige demanded crossing her arms over her chest and giving Emma a look that said she was not messing around Sighing Emma turned back to the make up in front of her not wanting to see Paige's face right now. "I don't know, I keep fighting with Jay about pretty much anything and everything, and its really putting a strain on our relationship, there is just so much tension in the apartment I'm scared about how it will affect Skylar I don't want her to have memories of her parents constantly fighting."

Paige felt bad the moment she heard what has been bothering her friend, and she felt stupid for thinking her problems were more important. "Emma I'm sorry look, why don't we go to the food court and grab something to eat and we'll talk this all out." Paige said taking Skylar's stroller and leading Emma out of the store.

Emma wasn't the only one having a hard time with the current situation Jay sat in his old apartment with Sean watching, or attempting to watch whatever movie Sean had on the television. Sean knew something was bothering his friend and he knew it had to do with Emma, he just didn't know how to bring it up. Lets face it heart to hearts were never Sean's strong point. After a few more minutes of silence between the pair Jay finally spoke up. "Sean I know you know something is wrong so stop staring at me out the corner of your eye." "I'm not staring, I'm glancing occasionally and focusing my eyes on you for moments at a time." He said pausing the movie and turning to his friend. "What's up man you've been, I don't off lately. So either something is wrong with Emma or Sky and I know nothing is wrong with her."

"We've been fighting a lot lately; there is just some much tension between the two of us. It's almost like she is scared to be around me I brought up the idea of us having a night out just me and her with out Skaylar and she freaked out saying she didn't want to go anywhere and was worried about Sky feeling like she was being abandoned." Jay said and leaned back on the couch with his eyes closed. "Look Jay Sky is over the whole abandoned phase, ok so she throws a tantrum every now and then but come on man she's 2 years old. Any way I think Em is using the baby as an excuse." Opening one eye Jay looked at his friend questionably. "I'm giving her time though but it's just so frustrating when some nights she won't even sleep in the same bed as me."

"Look I know but you just need to hang in there, I know it doesn't sound like the best advice but come on we both know Emma and if you push to hard she'll pull even further away, and this time she'll take the baby with her." "Yea it's just to damn hard, I know I screwed up but it happened years ago why can't she just let it go and we can all move on, as a family." ?Jay said and threw his head back in frustration. "Hate to say it but I doubt that is going to happen anytime soon." Sean said making his friend groan in frustration and bang his head against the back of the couch.

After a long and frustrating talk with Paige Emma finally convinced her that she would stop avoiding her boyfriend and actually sit and talk with him about what was bothering her, and convincing Paige Michalchuck of anything was not an easy task. But one that Emma had done and was now sitting at home waiting for her boyfriend top come home, Skylar had already been fed and was in her room playing before bath time.

As she sat on the couch absently watching TV she went over in her head what she wanted to say to Jay when he came home, which wouldn't be long because he always put their daughter to bed. Everything that she thought over was starting to blend together and causing a headache to start. ' Damn why is this so fucking hard to do. I can talk about everything and anything under the Sun.' she thought rubbing her fingers in small circles over her temples trying to will her head to stop throbbing. Emma spun her head around when she heard the click of the front door. "Hey baby how was your day with Paige?" Jay asked coming over and sitting next her. Emma shrugged her shoulders and leaned against him "It was eventful I mean is any day with Paige boring." "This is true." He mumbled and rand his hand gently over her head.

Emma began to feel her headache slowly fade away but she still knew she had to talk to him about what had been bothering her and holding them back in their relationship. With a sigh Emma moved slightly so she was now facing him. "Jay look I know I haven't been myself lately and I think we need to talk about It." she told him and suddenly felt more nervous than before. "Your right we do need to talk about it." Jay sighed and moved to stand up and face her. "Emma I love you with everything I have inside of me and even though you tell me you love me and want to be with me I'm starting to feel like your regretting ever letting me back in your life." The ending of his statement came out a little harsher than intended but he couldn't help it his frustration had been building for so long.

Emma stood up and stared at him not being able to form words for a moment. "Is that what you think that I don't love you? You're in my home Jay, in my bed every night and trust me if I didn't love you, then you would not be here right now." She said her anger starting to come up now. "I don't know Emma I thought when we got back together this time that we were going to move on with our lives and start fresh but you won't let us." he was getting angry and the two of them angry was never good, it never got them any where.

"I'm so sorry Jay that you hurt me so bad that I had to move away from here." "Emma all I'm asking for is if you love me then tell me why you are pulling away from me why can't we start fresh I don't want to pick up where we left off I want a new start with you and our daughter. Just please Emma let's move on, let's start over." He was calmer now and Emma just stood there her arms crossed she didn't know hat to do she was still so scared she loved him so much and just wanted to feel secure in that he was in this for the long haul.

"I do love you Jay I always have. I just am so scared of something happening and then we aren't together anymore. I just want.." she couldn't continue it was getting too hard for her. Jay crossed the room to her and placed his hands on her face and gently stroked her check. "Em look at me what is it that you just want." He spoke quietly and soothingly to her. Emma opened her eyes and took a deep breath I just want to know that you want me and only me forever, because you are all I'll ever want." She said to him and closed her eyes again starting to feel tears. "That's what you want?" he asked her and she nodded. "Ok then stay here for a minute ok, don't leave." He told her and received another nod of her head.

When she felt him leave Emma took a few deep breaths calming herself down so that they could continue. Not even a minute later Jay came back into the room with something in his hand. "Ok you want proof well I have it right here for you." He said held out a small black velvet box in front of her. When Emma didn't say anything Jay continued "I've had this ever since that night Skylar got sick and you had to come back from your date. Emma I knew in high school that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, and after that night I knew that I still wanted that still wanted you. Will you marry me Emma?" he said opening the box reveling an elegant and simple diamond ring to her.

Emma just stood there glancing between him and the ring stunned into silence. "Jay….."

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**And I'm going to leave you hanging there. I'm sorry if this chapter wasn't very good but I just got over my writers block so please review it I hope your still interested in it.**

**Allie**


	10. As Lovers Go

**Ok guys here is the next chapter and I hope you guys enjoy it. I know I left you hanging there at the end of the last one so I hope it makes up for it. So read and enjoy and don't forget to review and let me know your thoughts on it. And as usual I don't own the characters or the song.**

_And I said "I've gotta be honest_

_I've been waiting for you all my life."_

_For so long I was asylum bond, _

_But just seeing you makes me think twice._

_And being with you her makes me sane, _

_I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side. _

_You've got wits…..you've got looks, _

_You've got passion but are you brave enough to leave with me tonight?_

"_As Lovers Go"- Dashboard Confessional_

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Emma could not stop staring at the ring he held in his hand, she couldn't get much more out but his name and after that her mind went blank. She finally shook away some of the shock and stared him in the eyes trying desperately to find any kind of doubt or regret but they held none and she smiled him the first real smile she's shown him in so long. She moved forward so she was pressed against him and looking up at him. "If I say yes then can we go and do it right now, I've loved you for so long Jason and I don't need nor want an engagement or a big wedding I just want me and you, so please can we go now and just get married. We can celebrate with our friends and family later just please just you and me." she never took her eyes from his as she spoke, she wanted to say yes but she wanted to go through with it now she didn't need to wait any longer.

After her small speech Jay smirked at her and removed the ring from the box and held it out to her. "Depends are you saying yes?" he was twirling the ring between his fingers watching her smile, he knew she was saying yes she just as usual wanted to do it on her terms and he had no problem giving into her as long as he had her. "Well I guess we'll have to call Sean over." She said and reached her hand out for him to place the ring on her finger. "I'll take that as yes." He said and placed the ring on her finger and pulled her into a kiss. "I'm going to call him you go get ready." Jay said as they pulled away. Emma nodded and went down the hall to their room as Jay picked up the phone by the couch and dialed.

Emma went straight to their closest and grabbed two over night bags and went to work filling them with what she thought they would need. She wasn't really sure how long they'd be away she knew they were going to get married but then what? Come home? Spend the night some where? Just in case they did Emma packed a little something special for the occasion she had no idea why she bought it but she saw it one day shopping and thought she could put it to good use. Standing there going through a mental check list that she had everything something popped into her mind. Rushing back to the closet Emma rummaged around in the back for a few minutes before she finally found what she was looking for. "Ah ha found you." She sang and came out of the closet and folded it and placed it in her bag before jay could see. Leaving the bags on the bed she went to go check on Skylar.

Jay waited on the couch as the phone continued to ring on the other end, "Come on Sean I don't have all night here." He mumbled and nearly jumped out of his skin as the other end was picked up by an out of breath Sean. "Did I interrupt something?" Jay smirked into the phone, "ha very funny I was in the shower jackass, now what do you want." Sean said as he caught his breath. "Well me and Emma need you to come and watch Skylar for a night or two." He said moving through the living room. "What do you mean a night or two?" Sean asked he was now really confused as to why his friends are disappearing for a couple days with out their kid. "I really can't explain right now but you have to come over as soon as possible please we will explain everything when we get back I promise." He was anxious to go and just needed Sean to do him this favor. "Just promise me your coming back ok, your not ditching me with your baby or anything." Sean said in a worried voice. "Of course not, we would never leave Skylar ever Emma and I just need to ok and take care of something, please just help us out." Sighing Sean nodded as he answered his friend "ok I'll be there in a few minutes." Thanks man we owe you one big time." Jay said and hung up the phone to go find Emma.

Emma was sitting on the floor of her daughter's room with Skylar in her lap giggling as Emma tickled her sides and tummy. "Mama Stop!!" she pleaded in between her fits of giggle. "I can't stop mommies the tickle monster." She said while laughing herself. Jay stood in the doorway of his daughter's room watching the two of them play till Sky noticed him standing there and wiggled out of her mothers grasp. "Hi daddy!!!" she yelled and raised her arms for him to pick her up. "Hi baby girl, your mama and I need to talk to you." He said and walked over to the rocking chair in her room and sat down with skylark in his lap, as Emma got up off the floor and walked over to them.

"Now Uncle Sean is coming to stay with you while mommy and daddy take a little trip." Jay said to her. "I come too?" the little girl asked her parents a little confused as to why they were leaving without her. "No Sky you have to stay here but mommy and daddy will be back really soon ok, I promise." Emma soothed her daughter, it was hard for Emma to leave skylark also since she had been born she never stayed the night away from her baby. "Come back?" Skylar asked her parents as she rubbed her eyes tiredly. Emma smiled and ran her hand over her daughters dirty blond hair, "Yes Sky mommy and daddy will be back in the morning we promise." Skylar nodded her head and reached for her mother. Emma took her from Jay just in time to hear a knock at the door. "Oh that's Sean will you go get the door?" Emma asked Jay while grabbing Skylar's juice cup and getting her pajamas laid out, since Skylar was going to need her bath soon.

"Hey Sean thanks for coming by." Jay said when he opened the door and his friend entered looking like he wanted an explanation. "You know I'd look after Sky anytime but now seriously why am I here." Sean said going into the den and taking his coat off and falling to the couch. Jay closed the door and fell onto the chair across from him. "Look its nothing bad ok, Emma and I just need to go off and do something ok, its something that we've wanted to do for a long time now and we can't take Sky with us, that's all I can tell you. The rest will have to wait till we come back tomorrow."

As Sean opened his mouth to speak Emma came into the room holding Skylar's hand, the toddler let go of her mothers hand and jumped onto the couch with her uncle. "Uncle Sean mommy and daddy are going bye bye." She told him and settled herself on his lap. "Sky we're only going bye bye for tonight we'll be home tomorrow morning, we promise." Emma said sitting on the arm of the chair Jay was in. the young toddler still didn't look convinced but Jay knew what to say to get her to come around. "Sky if you're a really good girl for Uncle Sean than mommy and daddy will bring you presents." And that seemed to do the trick because she immediately perked up and began bouncing on Sean's lap in excitement.

"Something tells me this is Paige's doing. But we really need to get going Jay." Emma said and went to go get the bags from their bedroom. Once she returned she went over and picked up her daughter and hugged her for what seemed forever. "I love you baby ok and we'll call and check in later tonight, so you be a good girl for uncle Sean ok don't give him any trouble." She said into her ear as her little girl hung on tightly to her mother. "I will momma, I love you too." Emma kissed her check and handed her over to Jay so he could say good-bye. "Ok baby like your momma said be a good girl I love you Sky and I'll miss you." I love you too daddy." He gave her a kiss and put her on the floor. As they grabbed their bags and went to the door Sky started to tear up a little and so did Emma. Jay had to usher her out the door or they'd never get out, and Sean picked up his niece and rubbed her back. "It's ok Emma she'll be fine we'll see you tomorrow." Sean said. "I know I'll see you tomorrow baby I love you." And with that they left the apartment.

Jay and Emma were quite as they packed their bags in the car and settled in. "You sure you want to go through with this, we can wait if you changed your mind?" Jay said when he turned the car but he didn't move it till he heard her answer. Emma turned to him and smiled at him and placed a hand on the back of his neck bringing his lips to hers and kissed him slowly yet with a passion that gave him her answer. "I want this Jay I'm never going to change my mind, and I love you even more for not pushing me and making sure it's what I want. But ask me one more time and I'll smack you." She said with humor in her voice.

Jay laughed at her and put the car in gear, and they were off to take the next step in their lives together, 'lets just hope that everyone understands why we did it this way.' He thought and grabbed on to her hand and refused to let it go. He hated to admit it but he was nervous as hell, yes he Jason Hogart was nervous she had said yes, she was the one who wanted to elope, and now she was sitting next to him in the car smiling at him, ok so she was smiling through tears but that was on account of leaving Skylar behind for the night but she was still smiling. Now let's just hope it lasted when they got there and got started with their wedding.

Sean was in the middle of giving Skylar her bath for the night, well more like she was giving him one since all she wanted to do was splash at him. Looking down he saw the front of his shirt was soaked and water was dripping from his hair a little. "Look Uncle Sean look!!!!" the toddler exclaimed and took a deep breath and stuck her head under the water. Sean smiled down at her and her new skill she had acquired, "ok Sky that's enough we don't want you to swallow the whole tub." He said and fished her head out of the water.

Sean leaned over to the counter and grabbed a towel and picked skylark up out of the tub, wrapping her up in the towel and drying her feet off first. Just then they both heard a knock at the front door. "Mama?" skylark asked him, "No sky your mama won't be back till tomorrow, it's probably grandma or someone." He made sure skylark was wrapped up in the towel so she wasn't cold and went to answer the front door.

Looking through the peephole Sean saw that it was just Marco and Paige so he opened the door. "Hey guys Emma and Jay aren't here." He told them noticing the confused look upon Paige's face when he opened the door. The pair shrugged and walked in anyway and Skylar reached out for Paige to take her. "Where did they go off to? Paige asked and held the toddler against her. "No idea they called me over to baby-sit over night, said they'd tell us tomorrow. Hey Paige do you think you could get Skylar ready for bed, since your already holding her and well I need to change." Sean said looking down at his soaked shirt once more. Paige laughed a little and nodded, "sure, come on princess time to get ready for bed." and with that she walked down the hallway and into Skylar's bedroom.

Sean quickly went into Emma and Jay's room to change and came out a minute later to join Marco in the living room to wait for Paige. Fifteen minutes later Paige stepped out of the bedroom, closing the door quietly. "She's down for the night got changed without a fuss and passed out not even half way into her bed time story." She said and sat next to Marco. "So Sean spill where are they." Marco finally spoke up looking his friend dead in the eyes. "Honestly your guess is as good as mine; they said that they couldn't say anything till tomorrow when they came home." The three sat there and moved on with conversation, they'd just have to wait.

Emma and Jay stood in front of the justice of the peace both had smiles on their faces as they said their vows to one another. "Do you Jason Hograt take Emma Nelson to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the old man asked reading from a book that looked as if it had been used hundreds of times. "Jay looked at Emma and couldn't tear his eyes away from the girl standing before him, never even looking at the man before him. "I do, always have." The old man and his wife that stood beside him looked at the loving young couple. "And do you Emma Nelson take Jason Hogart to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Taking a deep breath Emma nodded her head as she gave her answer, "I do, forever."

"Well then I now pronounce you husband and wife." And with that Emma and Jay leaned in for their first kiss as husband and wife. "Do you remember when we first got married Edger." The old lady asked her husband as she looked adoringly at the young kissing couple. "Of course I do, doing this reminds me of it everyday."

"I love you Jay." I love you too Emma." And with that they shared another kiss together before thanking and leaving the house of the old couple. And they were off to their first night alone together as husband and wife.

_I'll be true, I'll be useful…._

_I'll be cavalier….I'll be yours me dear._

_And I'll belong to you…._

_If you'll just let me through._

_This is easy as lovers go,_

_So don't complicate it by hesitating._

_And this is wonderful as lovers go, _

_This is tailor made, what's the sense in waiting _

"_As Lovers Go"- Dashboard Confessional. _

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**Well there you go guys the next chapter I hope you enjoyed it and don't worry its not done just yet there are a couple more chapters coming to you soon, so review and let me know what you think of it.**

**Allie**


	11. Bubbly

**Ok guys here is the next chapter of the story, sorry it's taken awhile there's been some family stuff going on. But yea please read and review it and I hope you guys enjoy it. And as usual I don't own anyone in the story or the song that belongs to Colbie Caillat.**

_I've been awake for awhile now_

_You've got me feelin like a child now_

'_Cause every time I see your bubbly face _

_I get the tingles in a silly place_

"_Bubbly"- Colbie Caillat_

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Emma stared down at her ring finger that was no longer bare and couldn't help but smile, and her smile got bigger when she looked over at the person next to her in the car, and she couldn't help but laugh a little. She wanted to get married and have a family but she never thought that it would happen this soon in her life. Yet here she was almost 19 years old and a mother and now a wife, and she couldn't be happier.

Jay noticed the smile and far off look on his wife's face. Wife that was one word that Jay Hogart would ever think to have in his vocabulary but he did and it did not terrify him at all, he had changed a lot over the last couple years and it was because of the woman sitting next to him.

"Hey what are you thinking about?" he asked her taking his hand in his and interlocking their fingers.

Emma looked down at their hands and then back up at him and smiled even more if that was possible. "Just thinking about you and how happy I am right now, and I sound really cheesy right now don't I." she laughed a little still looking over at him.

Jay laughed and raised their hands to his lips and pressed a small kiss to hers. "Just a little but hey I'm married to you now so we're stuck." He laughed at the look on her face and tried to move over as much as possible, since was driving, to avoided the smack she laid on him.

"You are so so so lucky I love you." She said and looked out the car window as they continued to drive, since it was late and they knew Sean was with Sky they had just decided to stay over at a hotel for the night, since it wasn't too often they had a night alone without Skylar running around.

Pulling into the hotel's parking lot jay went to check them in and Emma pulled out her cell phone to call and check on Skylar. After a few rings someone finally picked up, "Hey Sean its Emma I was just calling to check on Skylar." She said once he picked up

"she's fine she's asleep so where are you guys?" he asked her, they had been gone for hours now already. "don't worry about it Sean we're staying over so we'll be home sometime tomorrow morning or early afternoon. So give Sky a kiss for me." and before he could say another word she hung up and went over to Jay.

"how's Sky?" he asked before she said anything to him. "how did you know who I was calling?" she asked with a smirk on her face.

"Well who else would you be calling." He told her and took her hand and led her over to the elevators. "good point, but yea she's fine Sean said she was fast asleep." She said to him and they rode the rest of the way up to their room for the night.

Emma went to take the room key from Jay and open the door but he instead grabbed her back and swung her up into his arms. "Jay put me down!!" she tried to yell but was to busy laughing at what he did. "Nope not till we get inside." And with that he managed to get the door open and carried her inside and gently dropped her back down to her feet.

Emma walked further into the room and sat down on the bed as Jay closed and locked the door. He glanced over to her and smirked seeing her lounging on the bed, he walked over to her and climbed on top of her till she was laying flat on her back. Emma looked up at him and smiled as he leaned down to pressed a soft kiss to her lips. That kiss though grew with each passing second and soon Emma was running her hands under his shirt and over his back as he played moved his hands to cover her breasts under her shirt.

Before he could remove her shirt though Emma broke away from his lips and pushed against his chest a little, signaling for him to let her up. "What's wrong where are you going?" he asked as she went over to the bags. She didn't answer right away just dug through one of the bags she packed. Smiling a secretive smile she grabbed what she wanted and turned to look at him, "nothings wrong I'll be right back I have a surprise for you." And with that she ran off into the bathroom before jay could utter one word or see what she was hiding behind her back.

In the time she was in the bathroom Jay got up from the bed and striped off his jacket, shoes and tee shirt. Once that was done he moved to the bed, pulling back the comforter and the sheets, and then he sat patiently waiting for Emma to back out.

About 10 minuets later Emma emerged from the bath room, but instead of her jeans and tee shirt she went in with she was now standing in the doorway in a very short low cut pink satin babydoll with crochet lace under her breasts and on the hem of the babydoll. She cleared her throat when she noticed Jay had yet to look up at her. And when he did the look on his face made her let out a small laugh, his eyes widened and his mouth hung open slightly.

"Well are you going to say something or are you just going to drool?" she asked him as she slowly walked over to the bed to stand in front of him placing her hands on his bare shoulders.

Jay brought his hands to rest on her hips and caressed them through the silky material and smirked up at her pulling her closer to him "if being married means I can see more of you in things like this, then I am loving marriage so far."

Emma laughed a little and smiled at her husband, "only if your good, but being married to me means you get to have me in your bed every night for the rest of our lives. Care to start now?" she said with a smirk on her face.

Without saying a word Jay stood up and quickly twisted her around so she was laying flat on the bed with him hovering above her. She smiled up at him and ran her hands up his sides and then down his naked back. Jay leaned down and began to place soft light kisses along the length of her neck and throat. Emma closed her eyes and moaned softly, they hadn't been like this in a very long time, and the memories of their first time came flooding back to her.

Emma pushed on Jay's chest till he moved away from her neck, when he did she took the opportunity to slid from underneath him up further on the bed so her head was resting comfortably on the pillows. When she was settled Jay moved back over her and leaned down to finally taste her lips, Emma moaned into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his shoulders pulling him closer to her body, now that they were together she never wanted to let him go.

Jay pushed her knees over to the side and laid his lower body in-between her legs and pressed himself as close to her as he could without crushing her. He began to run his hands down the side of her face to her satin covered chest and began to massage her making her sigh and arch her back into his hand.

She had to touch him, her hands were itching to move over him and rediscover his body to see if it was exactly how she remembered. She broke their kiss to gather air into her lungs; she then moved her lips to his neck alternating between soft kisses and gentle bites as her hands moved from his shoulders down his back to his hips, then around to come rest on his belt buckle dipping her finger tips into the hem of his pants just to tease him a little. She pulled back to see her husbands reaction and laughed a little. He looked like he was about to die so she decided to continue.

Emma leaned up and placed soft teasing kisses against his mouth, while at the same time slowly unbuttoning his jeans and unzipping them. When they were lose enough jay leaned back off of her and pulled them along with his boxers off and went back to his place between her legs, finally feeling the softness of her legs against his skin, but it wasn't enough he wanted to feel all of her body against his.

In the next instant Jay was running his hands up her thighs scrunching the material of her night gown in his fists until he had exposed her lower body all the while kissing her with as much force as he could bring out with out hurting her. Jay pulled back and removed the pink garment the rest of the way, and just looked at her body that lay before him. He reached out and gently ran his finger tips over her body trying to memorize her body, it had been two years and she had changed, he noticed as he ran his fingers around her belly she had a lightly faded scar close to her pelvis. "Where did this come from?" he asked as he traced it back and forth.

Emma leaned on her elbows and looked down at where his hand was and smiled softly. "That is where you darling daughter came out of." She said causing him to look her in the eye. "They cut her out of you?" he asked with a look of uneasiness on his face.

Emma laughed at him and played with his fingers gently. "Yea, she is your daughter and she stubbornly refused to come out, so they went in and got her…it wasn't that bad really. Now can we refocus on what we were just doing?" she asked and pulled on his hand till he lay flat against her.

She gasped when she felt him fully against her body and wrapped her legs around his waist. "Jay, I need you." She whispered so softly he wasn't sure he heard her right that is until she pushed her hips up to meet his. When he felt her do that he had to have her, so he shifted just a little and pushed into her making them both gasp at the feeling.

Jay had to close his eyes tight and catch his breath, it had been a very long time for him and by the feeling of her body for her too, he didn't want to hurt her so he stayed still for a minuet and then began to move slowly inside of her. Emma gasped at the feeling of him and arched her head back exposing her neck to him which he gladly took advantage of and began placing kisses from her ear lobe to her collar bone, never stopping moving inside her.

Jay began to move faster and deeper inside her as they continued; both moaning and gasping with each push and pull of their bodies. And it wasn't long before both of them were hanging on by a thread and with a final thrust into her body Jay made them both reach their breaking points both calling out the others name.

Jay rolled off of her and pulled her into his side just holding her there. "I love you Emma." He whispered tiredly kissing her forehead. Emma smiled and placed a soft kiss on his chest "I love you too. And with that he wrapped the blanket around them as they both fell into a peaceful sleep.

_I've been asleep for awhile now_

_You tuck me in like a child now_

'_Cause every time you hold me in your arms _

_I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth._

"_Bubbly"- Colbie Caillat._

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**ok guys here is the next chapter I hope you liked it, I'm sorry I took a long time with this but there has a been a lot going on, so yea please review and there will only be maybe one more chapter then I'm off to write another story…….see told ya I'd get it up Laura lol**

**Allie**


	12. Ever Ever After

Ok guys here is the last chapter of this story thank you so much guys for sticking with me through this, even though updates took forever

**Ok guys here is the last chapter of this story thank you so much guys for sticking with me through this, even though updates took forever. But anyway I hope you enjoyed this and like the ending. **

**An as usual I do not own anyone in this story, except the babies. Nor do I own the lyrics used they belong to Carrie Underwood I just love her and the song.**

_Storybook endings, fairy tales coming true_

_Deep down inside we want to believe they still do _

_And a secret is taught, it's our favorite part of the story_

_Let's just admit we all want to make it too._

"_Ever, Ever after"- Carrie Underwood._

**&**

Two years have gone by, since the night Jay Hogart got up the nerve to ask Emma Nelson to marry him, and two years since they ran off and got married, two years since his family became whole. In those two years the couple moved into a larger home, and their daughter Skylar had turned four years old an was starting preschool, something she was excited about but made Jay and Emma nervous, since she was their little girl and this was the first time she would not be within either of their sights.

Those were not the only changes made in the Hogart house hold. A few weeks ago Emma had given birth to their second child, another little girl. They named her Mia Elena Hogart. And just like her big sister she looks just like her daddy. It was an adjustment bringing the new baby home but so far the young family was managing pretty well. Skylar seemed to like being a big sister but was not thrilled when the new edition would start to cry; whenever she did the older child would glare at the baby till she stopped.

On the morning of Skylars first day of school Jay woke up to small fingers poking at his back as he squeezed his eyes shut tight trying to keep up the appearance of sleep, but his small daughter would not give up and just added more force to her poking.

"Sky can you let daddy sleep a little longer?" he asked her moaning and turning over so the little girl could snuggle up to him.

"I can't daddy it's the first day of school and mommy said to get out of bed already." Skylar said and moved off the side of the bed and running out into the hallway yelling for her mother.

With a groan Jay finally managed to drag himself out of bed and moved down the hallway towards the kitchen where he heard Emma moving about and Skylar watching cartoons in the living room. Walking into the kitchen he saw Emma fixing breakfast with Mia in her bouncy seat set up on the island, smiling he gave the baby a kiss on her head and then snuck up and wrapped his arms around his wife, kissing her neck making her jump and turn in his arms.

"I was told to get out of bed already, so here I am at your service." He said with a smile and kissed her lightly and tucking a stand of long blonde hair behind her ear. Emma smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for another longer kiss before forcing herself out of his arms.

"I need you to watch the kids while I shower and feed Skylar then get her dressed for school, please." She asked as she was about to move away from the kitchen, and smiled and moved out of view when Jay nodded his head. Once Emma disappeared Jay moved over to the living room where Sky was still in her night shirt with her eyes glued to morning cartoons.

"Skylar come on, get in the kitchen so you can eat your breakfast." He said but he seemed to be talking to a brick wall as Skylars only response was to shake her head no. "After this daddy" she said not moving her eyes away from her program.

"No Sky right now." He said and pulled the little girl up by her hand and led the pouting child to the island to sit and wait for her breakfast. Looking at his pouting daughter Jay had to laugh she might look just like him but her facial expressions were all Emma. He placed her bowl of cereal and juice in front of her and went to grab a bottle for Mia as she started to fuss in her seat.

"Daddy do you know what the best part of going to school is" Skylar asked around a mouthful of food. "Swallow your food first Sky." He scolded as he placed the bottle into Mia's mouth and watched as she happily sucked on it.

Once the food was gone from Sky's mouth she began to speak again. "No Mia crying" she said with a smile and ate another spoonful making Jay shake his head. "I thought you liked your baby sister." He said and looked over at his oldest daughter.

"I do just not when she cries." And with that she went back to eating her food. Shaking his head Jay just smiled at her and sighed, she would get over it eventually.

"Daddy I done now can I go and watch TV?" Skylar asked after she pushed her empty bowl away from her and played with her juice cup. Jay just shook his head and unbuckled Mia from her seat and lifted her up cradling her to his chest. "Nope sorry kid time to get ready for school, your mommy will be done soon and then we have to leave."

Skylar sat there for a minute thinking this over before she started to get up, "Can I pick out what I want to wear?" Jay just nodded his head and waited for her next question knowing she would have a few of them, again just like her mother.

"Can mommy braid my hair?" she said and shifted in her chair again "AS long as she says yes." Jay told her "Can I use my new backpack and lunch box?" she asked with a smile they had gotten her new stuff for school and she had been begging to use and wear the new school clothes and supplies. "Yes you can." And with that said Sky took off down the hall into the girl's room and opened the closet trying to decide what to wear.

By the time Jay finally caught up with his daughter in her room it seemed like the entire closet was all over the room, and Sky was looking in the mirror with a blue dress held up to her front, yep she has been really spending too much time with Auntie Paige.

"Skylar Paige Hogart I said you could pick out what to wear not tear apart your room. You're going to have to clean this up and quick before your mother gets in here." He scolded her and put Mia down in her crib and watched over Sky as she picked up her clothes and helped her hang then up, she sure as hell could pull them down but not get them back up. Once it was all done was all cleaned up Skylar had decided to wear her new light pink white and gray skirt and a pink tee shirt with graphite hearts and stars on the side of it along with her new white sneakers. Once she was all dressed she helped her dad pick out something for baby Mia to wear only this time without making a mess of the dresser. She picked out a little white bodysuit with pink trim and pink hearts and guitars all over it.

"Ok and brush your teeth while I change Mia's diaper, ok mommy will be ready soon." Jay said and picked the baby back up and laid her on the changing table. Skylar quickly ran from the room to brush her teeth and get her hair stuff so her mommy could do her hair.

Just as Jay had finished snapping up the bottom of Mia's clothes Emma came in to check on him, and saw only one daughter. "Hey Where is Sky?" she asked and grabbed a blanket to wrap the baby in. "She is in the bathroom finishing her teeth and waiting for you to do her hair. Just as he finished saying that Sky came in and grabbed her mother's hand "come on mommy or we're gonna be late." She said and pulled her out of the room. Emma just followed and then began to brush and braid her daughter's hair, while Jay went and got dressed.

Twenty minutes later Jay stopped his car in a space in front of his daughter's school. Looking in the rearview mirror noticing his daughter wasn't nervous one bit but in fact was struggling to undo her seat belt. "Skylar can you hold on one second and I'll help you." He said and got out of his side of the car to flip the seat forward to reach his daughter while Emma did the same to get Mia out of her car seat where she slept peacefully.

Once the girls were out jay handed Sky her backpack and lunch box and took her hand. "So you ready for this baby?" he wasn't really sure if he was asking Skylar or his wife, who did seem to be the most nervous out of all of them. "I'm ready daddy." His little girl said and tried to pull him towards the front door of the school, but he didn't move till Emma said she was ready for this after all this was her baby too and he could tell she was having a bit of a hard time letting go.

"Yea I'm fine, let's get this over with before I lock her in her room till she's 18." Emma said and shifted the baby in her arms. They walked in and found the board where it announced what room and teacher their little girl would have for the next year. Once they found that they walked, well ran to keep up with Sky down the hall to the room. Once there Skylar stopped and stared at the room before her and all the kids and parents in the brightly colored room with lots of toys and paints on shelves and in toy boxes and cubbies with all the kids names on them.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Skylar?" Emma asked as she too nervously looked into the room, "I mean we can wait a week or something if you don't feel ready." Emma told her daughter but Jay took hold of her arm and made her look at him

"Em she needs to go to school, she's 4 years old she needs to go and be with kids her own age she'll be fine trust me." He said and took Skylar's hand and led her into the room with Emma and Mia following behind him. Inside they placed Skylar's thing in her cubbie and went to meet her teacher, for a bit Skylar clung to her father's leg, she was a little nervous around the new teacher but looking around the room she spotted a doll house across the room with a few other girls playing, she quickly let go of Jay's leg and made a bee line for the doll house making the three adults laugh.

"I think she'll be just fine." The teacher said looking at the little blonde girl and then back to her parents. "Yea I guess she'll be fine...but if she needs me you'll call right I mean you have all the phone numbers , the house, work, cell phones?" Emma asked the teacher still unsure about leaving her daughter here. "Yes I have all the right phone numbers and if Skylar needs you I will call you right away." The teacher reassured them and they went over to Sky to say goodbye to her.

"Ok baby mommy and daddy have to go now but if you need us your teacher knows where to get a hold of us ok?" Emma said softly to her daughter who barley turned around from the doll house "Ok mommy but I'll be fine...Will you be?" the little girl asked looking over at her mother smiling making Emma and Jay laugh.

Emma pulled her in for a hug and a kiss and whispered in her ear "I will be just fine, mommy loves you be a good girl." After a few more kisses and hugs Skylar went over to her father and wrapped her little arms around his neck, "I love you baby please be a good girl and have ok." He told her and she nodded against his shoulder. "I love you too" she whispered and gave him a kiss on the cheek, Jay gave her a kiss on the head and hugged her one last time before letting g her go back to playing with the group of girls her bubbly personality had already won over.

With their daughter safely inside and settled in Jay and Emma stood up and left the room with their other baby girl safely wrapped in her blanket and mothers arms, a mother who held on to her tight not wanting to let this one go. Once in the hall way Jay wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders and pulled her close to him and kissed her forehead and then leaned down to do the same to Mia who opened her blue eyes to look up at him and gave a small yawn making them both smile.

"Well Emma at least we still have this little one for a few more years before we have to d this with her." He stated and they walked to the car.

"No not this one, this one is staying with me forever." She said buckling the baby in her seat before getting in the car next to her husband.

"Don't worry Em we can still have more of them, I mean come on they come out pretty good right. Besides our story isn't over just yet, it never is with us." Jay said and took hold of his wife's hand and drove back home waiting till they can go get their little girl.

No this really wasn't the end for their story it was just another chapter ending and a fresh one starting, after all Happily Ever After was just the beginning of the story.

_No Wonder your heart feels its flying _

_Your head feels its spinning _

_Each happy ending's a brand new beginning _

_Let yourself be enchanted, you just might make it through _

_To ever ever after _

_Forever could even start today _

_Ever ever after_

_Maybe it's just one wish away _

_Your ever ever after _

_Carrie Underwood- Ever Ever After _

**OK GUYS THERE YOU GO, ITS DONE AND I AM SO SORRY IT HAS TAKEN ME THIS LONG TO GET THE CHAPTER DONE AND THE STORY DONE BUT I YOU GUYS LIKED THE CHAPTER AND LIKED THE WHOLE STORY, SO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME AND READING AND REVIEWING THIS STORY.**

**ALLIE**


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